LIfe is too short to be with people who make you feel worse. Seriously, your friends sound like they suck. The people-pleasing will never attract good people, only superficial types who can dish out the criticism but can't receive it in return. More importantly, at a psychological level, people-pleasing behaviour
makes people respect you less, not more. It's counterintuitive but that is absolutely how human psychology works.
Can you afford therapy? I think a good therapist could get to the roots of why you feel you are less important than other people (because that's basically what it amounts to). As for the "negativity", it is a core symptom of depression. My advice would be to drop your friends and concentrate on you. Do what pleases/interests you for a change. Once you start to feel a bit better (perhaps with the aid of an antidepressant or therapy), you can start working on longer term goals to try to break the rut and move on from the stifling past.
Dx Crohn's in June 2000. (Yay )
Tried: 5-ASAs, azathioprine, 6MP, Remicade, methotrexate, Humira, diets.
1st surgery 20/2/13 - subtotal colectomy with end ileostomy.
2nd surgery 10/7/15 - ileorectal anastomosis. Stoma reversed and ileum connected to the rectum.
Current status: Chronic flare. Do I have any other kind?
Current meds: 50mg 6MP; Entyvio (started 3/11/16)