Guys, I think last night has to be an early contender for "Worst Night's Sleep Of The Year" award. I was bone, bone
tired, and hoped this would be sufficient to make me nod off. It wasn't. I had a song stuck in my head for hours that I couldn't get rid of. The strange thing is that it stuck at all, since while that used to happen to me when I was younger, it rarely does now. Finally after about
3 hours I sank into a dream-filled doze for a few minutes, then woke up. The dreams were creepy as hell. (I only remember a couple of images from them now.) Same thing happened again later on in the night - nodding off straight into bad dreams, only to promptly wake up again.
I gave up on sleep for that night, but actually I did get a bit of sleep mid-morning. Maybe an hour or so, not really sure. I didn't want to sleep for too long anyway, because I'm trying to retrain my body clock to fall asleep by 2am, not 9am!
Meanwhile, I decided to order more melatonin, 1mg pills this time. (As long as they're not timed/sustained release, I should be able to cut them in half without issue.) Melatonin is technically only available only on prescript
ion in the UK, hence why no UK sites stock it. You can still order it from abroad though - the trick to not waiting 3 weeks is to try to order it from Germany rather than the US. Plus I paid extra for express delivery, so it should be here in a couple of days.
@Karen - Thanks!
Not to continuously bang on about
melatonin (at least it's helping you guys fall asleep, right? <_<), but I decided on a low dose for a few reasons: 1) To avoid grogginess the next day, which is more likely with higher doses; 2) Studies have shown low doses of 0.3-1mg are just as effective. The body only produces a small amount of melatonin and even 3mg is literally 10x more than the highest natural amount produced. 3) Too high a dose can desensitize the melatonin receptors and make melatonin stop working. That's less likely to happen with a low dose.
You can tell I've been doing too much late night reading >.> But that said, going by the online comments I've seen, people seem to take all sorts of doses - I saw one lady who was on 60mg. Some people did say that they felt better when they reduced their dose, but others seemed happy with their 3mg, 10mg, or whatever.
I think the older you get, the harder it becomes to be a "go-getter", especially if you are not temperamentally that way inclined. I think if I could go back in time with the knowledge I had now, I could do so much more - or maybe I'm just kidding myself, I don't know. As for the future, it's a dark, rather terrifying, blank :-/
@nssg - The book is "Children of Time." After banging on about
melatonin for ages, my mind has gone a bit blank now, so just look up a descript
ion on Amazon. It's my kinda themes though: space exploration, colonization, genetically engineered spiders, etc. It's actually much better written than that may make it sound, and the story is a cracker so far: unusually it just keeps on getting better and better. I'm only halfway though, so take my judgement with a pinch of salt.
I don't think most people love
working, really. But most people seem able to bear it considerably better than I could. (In retrospect I didn't know I had autism/ADD, but even if I had known, not sure how much difference it would have made, especially without support.) My oldest brother never likes his jobs either, but the mere fact of working doesn't seem to make him depressed. It did my dad though. Oh, boy did it my dad and didn't we all know about
it (but to be fair to him, he also had undiagnosed high functioning autism. My brother on the other hand shows no signs of autism whatsoever).
My brother's wife, on the other hand, loves working and would be bored out of her mind without it. Even the retail stuff (it used to be just retail, but now she does teaching as well). I can't really fathom that. I hate shops. I hate people. I hate standing up all day long and nowadays would be almost physically unbearable. Retail work would be my own personal hell, although I respect the people who do it, since I can't.
I'm not sure what my point is, really. Other than people's attitudes to work, and ability to bear it, seems to vary so widely. It's sad when work takes up so much of your time and energy, you have nothing left over with which to enjoy the rest of life. Very sad.
Exercise helps me to feel better sometimes, but seems to have no effect on falling asleep - I can be physically shattered and mentally wide awake. Incidentally, sleep has a massive
influence on our well-being. Trouble is, modern life makes it so hard to sleep well.
I'm off to the town centre now before the shops close. It will give me a walk and a bit of fresh air, but I also need to get dinner and a couple of other things. See you later, folks.
Dx Crohn's in June 2000. (Yay )
Tried: 5-ASAs, azathioprine, 6MP, Remicade, methotrexate, Humira, Entyvio, diet.
1st surgery 20/2/13 - subtotal colectomy with end ileostomy.
2nd surgery 10/7/15 - ileorectal anastomosis. Stoma reversed and ileum connected to the rectum.
Current meds: 50mg 6MP; Stelara (started 15th July '19)