I do hope that 102 wasn't in a residential area :/ If it's a motorway, high speeds are much more normal. I've done 90mph on the motorway in my rust bucket a few times (at 100mph it would probably judder apart). Reckless driving can be a sign of depression, in the sense that if the person stops caring about
what happens to them, they are more likely to indulge in risky behaviour
. If they are numb, it may make them feel something briefly. If they have low self esteem, they may even feel like they deserve to get hurt. However, if the reckless driving was an isolated incident and not part of a wider pattern, then your son probably just liked fast driving. Many people do :/
I'm so sorry you and your husband aren't talking. It sounds like both of you are dealing with your son's loss in different ways. It's really, really hard when one person wants to talk about
it, and the other person doesn't. We were at a family BBQ recently. The subject of my deceased brother came up. My mum started to get visibly upset and my older brother was obviously uncomfortable. My mum quickly changed the subject, but honestly, I just thought what an ***hole my older brother was at that moment. He didn't actually say
anything, but he didn't have to.
My mum doesn't bring up my brother a lot to me anymore, but when she does I let her talk about
it. To be honest, after nearly 2 years I guess there isn't much left to say. But the feelings are still there, they haven't gone away.
Anyway, I agree with the others - you do have grit! And it will get better. Not okay, or as it used to be, but better than it is now. And maybe in time you and your husband can learn to communicate with each other again - I hope so.
Take care, weary. Sending you a hug...
Dx Crohn's in June 2000. (Yay )
Tried: 5-ASAs, azathioprine, 6MP, Remicade, methotrexate, Humira, Entyvio, diet.
1st surgery 20/2/13 - subtotal colectomy with end ileostomy.
2nd surgery 10/7/15 - ileorectal anastomosis. Stoma reversed and ileum connected to the rectum.
Current meds: 50mg 6MP; Stelara (started 15th July '19)