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Friend in crisis

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Depression
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Labradorite
Veteran Member
Joined : Sep 2009
Posts : 1329
Posted 8/19/2019 7:35 PM (GMT -7)
I need advice/support please, I called 911 because I felt my friend was in crisis. She has had depression for many years and not left the house more than once in the last year and a half. She called the other day because of strong bad thoughts. I talked to her long enough and spent some time with her. Today she calls and it’s bad again but not as bad as the last time. Says these thoughts are a continuous issue for years. My therapist said I should have called 911 immediately the first time so this time I did. It was terrible and now w my friend is still waiting to be seen in the hospital and is telling me through text that she wasn’t going to do anything and that I never should have done this because it’s not going to help. Did I do the wrong thing??
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U B Tough
Veteran Member
Joined : Aug 2015
Posts : 1114
Posted 8/20/2019 6:56 AM (GMT -7)
I commend you Lab for doing the right thing!! It’s not surprising that she may project her anger & fears on you for getting help that she needs.

If she sends hurtful texts blaming you take it with a grain of salt. She’s likely scared. (May be sensory overload as well.) Instead reinforce that you were really worried about her & getting her to a safe place eases your mind. Good friends do this sort of thing & it sounds like you’re a very good friend indeed.
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getting by
Forum Moderator
Joined : Sep 2007
Posts : 44891
Posted 8/20/2019 7:07 AM (GMT -7)
You are awesome Labradorite! She may be upset but you did the best thing for her. It is hard, I know, but don't doubt yourself.

Hugs, Karen...
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MainerMikeBrown
Veteran Member
Joined : Aug 2011
Posts : 690
Posted 8/20/2019 10:32 AM (GMT -7)
Since your friend was in an emotional crisis, Lab, what were you supposed to do, not call 911? Not get her the help she needed?

In another words, you did the right thing, Lab. Good job!
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Labradorite
Veteran Member
Joined : Sep 2009
Posts : 1329
Posted 8/20/2019 2:00 PM (GMT -7)
Thank you all so much for the support! Doing the same thing over and over again was getting no where and I felt like I had to do something to break the cycle. I’m just really relieved she is getting some help and I hope it makes a difference.
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Tim Tam
Veteran Member
Joined : May 2016
Posts : 1754
Posted 8/20/2019 5:34 PM (GMT -7)
Horray! Horray! Horray!

She's getting help and you got her the help by calling 911.

And the 911 and hospital people did the right thing by getting her help. It's a win all the way around. Keep us up to date by letting us know how she's doing. It probably won't be easy for her, but at least it's a step in the right direction.
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Labradorite
Veteran Member
Joined : Sep 2009
Posts : 1329
Posted 8/22/2019 7:10 AM (GMT -7)
Just an update: my friend has been so happy to have food prepared for her and the doctor was apparently so good that she said if she had had him in the beginning she felt she would have had a much better handle on things. Definitely made me tear up. She will only be there a few days but hopefully this will make a difference.
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getting by
Forum Moderator
Joined : Sep 2007
Posts : 44891
Posted 8/22/2019 8:31 AM (GMT -7)
Isn't it nice to have the gratification from helping your friend? I am glad she is getting benefits from the visit. I know it was hard for you because it wasn't what she initially wanted. But it is doing her good. You are the best friend a person could ask for. Keep hanging in there. I hope your friend continues to improve. I hope she can continue with the good doctor.

Hugs, Karen...
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Tim Tam
Veteran Member
Joined : May 2016
Posts : 1754
Posted 8/22/2019 10:42 AM (GMT -7)
When your friend gets out, please tell her to be positive that she can get through this. The same thing that got her into that situation, negative frame of mind, can cause her to slip back into it, as she may be looking for reasons to fail rather than reasons to succeed.

Tell her about the resources at the top of the list of posts on this forum.

Stay talking to her, she's going to need help when she gets out. If you see her slipping, remind her again about positive, and give her tips on what she can do, reminding her of her appointments and taking her medicine and good meals.

Maybe encouraging her to get out, volunteering at a dog kennel by walking dogs, or at a hospital or a library or a senior citizens home, get her to thinking about other peoples problems, you know, like those dogs'.

Maybe you can take walks with her and talk to her on the phone or e-mail.

Something got her down. Try to intervene. Well, you've already done that.
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Marie66
Regular Member
Joined : Jul 2019
Posts : 25
Posted 8/24/2019 12:52 PM (GMT -7)
Good job! You proved to be a great friend. There is an ancient proverb that says "A true friend shows love at all times. And is a brother who is born for times of distress."
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BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator
Joined : Apr 2012
Posts : 8511
Posted 8/25/2019 11:43 AM (GMT -7)
L

as someone who has attempted 3 times. I can positively tell you it was the correct thing to do.

the anger is normal.

From your update I guess she went inpatient. The good thing about inpatient is they do a safe discharge, meaning the person has to have a therapist appoint and a psychiatrist or psychologist appointment. yesterday of course the person can cancel and not follow through, perhaps this is a wake up call for your friend and she won't.

You have nothing to feel guilty for. I lost a friendship once, I told the person, I hope you hate me until you're 90. They apologized 2yrs later. Not close anymore but that's ok.

You did good.
Peace
Trina
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Labradorite
Veteran Member
Joined : Sep 2009
Posts : 1329
Posted 8/25/2019 4:51 PM (GMT -7)
Thank you Trina, I am so glad you are here🙏
She is supposed to come home early this week. Sounds like she is feeling better but still believes she should be suffering for things she had no control over so I’m definitely concerned about her return.
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