Hi bluepixie, Welcome to Healing Well forum. I am glad that you found us. It is so important to remember that you are not alone in your feelings and depression. Posting on this site with all the caring people hopefully will help. I does for me at least.
I have to say that I agree with your counselor. I dont know how you grew up or what your childhood was like. In any case it appears that your relationship with your parents is an abusive one. Maybe you should try setting some boundries with them and telling them how they make you feel and that you wont be coming back around if they dont change this behavior. Your 32 yrs old there is no reason for them to act this way toward you or for you to allow it. You could write a letter telling them of your feelings or call without having to do it face to face.
I understand the complexities of a disfuctional family very well. Although I have a good relationship with my mom, I havent spoken to or seen my younger brother who is 28 yrs old in over 2 years now. He has Bipolar and always has been very abusive towards my mom and other members of my family and also controlling of everyone. I love him and wish him well but unless he gets help I will not be a part of his life.
You have to decide what is best for you and what you can live with.