Hiya bluepixie, My daughter is in here 30's too.
I typed a whole big reply to ya and guess what ... I pushed "esc" instead of a "~" and the whole thing disappeared. Oh my.
Oh well, good finger exercises tonite ... Ha.
I wanted also to ask that, because my sister-in-law taught me (the hard way) about what alcohol does to the human brain.
Oh my. She and I were good buddies, but each year she got nastier and nastier and well, it was a long story that I just accidently erased, but to tell you what happened to her, I had to research it to understand.
It appears she was killing her brain cells first, then was entering into what's called alcohol induced psychosis.
You know, when someone says "That's the alcohol talking" ... that is very very true. It was and is with alcoholics. Eventually they lose more and more. It isn't "them" anymore. Really sad.
She died in her sleep at home, 2 years ago of alcohol induced cardiomyopathy. :(
She was a beautiful girl too. Worked in an office for Aetna when I met her .... 20 years later, she looked like a bag lady and actually would have been if her mother hadn't taken her in.
Anyways, don't look at how old you are in years now bluepixie ... because they say we inwardly stay at the age when the greatest crisis or lack or trauma happened in our lives.
You will have to go to that foundation and at that point of your childhood, when you needed the support the most and cuddle, rock and cry with that little girl who had no foundation layers, despite that you're 32 now, you have to go and heal that little girl first, yourself or with the help of any sympathetic friend or whomever.
Don't be afraid to rock that little girl and hold her and sympathise with her. You can be her very best friend in the long run, if you just have patience with you both. :)
Do you have a best friend who you can talk to ? One good girl friend can be like a life line too.
You love them enough so that you don't want to drag them down, yet you feel comfortable sharing all of this with them. Ya know ?
I have a friend who has heard the same blue story about my life for 20 years ... ha. but she never tires of it.
If I felt she was, I'd have stopped .... but I haven't needed to do that to her in a long time, but I also know, that if I do need to again, she's there for me and all ears. Never makes me feel like I'm being a broken record or pain in the neck.
Just one friend can really help.
Someday those parents may need your help ... but you've got to take care of you first and get your foundation fixed.
Enough self-work and the cement will come to fix it ... I promise. Been there.
Take good care of you.
Late Neuro-Lyme & CFIDS.