Dont worry about
sounding harsh. Everyone I know, including my counselor, has told me to cut off contact completely. It is just so hard to do.
Ive tried to move on as much as possible. I am even seeing someone new (partially the reason I finally decided to end the relationship). Went out of town with her (new girl) this weekend and had a great time. Had 1 rough night, but I was fairly able to control it. Things have gotten better since getting on meds and seeking help, but there are still those nights when I have horrible horrible thoughts. I guess what really upsets me is that I am not that type of person. I have always been stronger than that and have even been the person to help others with these same issues.
The feeling of guilt is the one that overwhelms me whenever I do get into these depressive states. I tell myself its not my fault and there isnt anything I can do, but it doesnt seem to help. This just seems to be such a hard issue to overcome, I am glad that I found a place where I can just lay it out and say what is going on. That helps me greatly as I am a very verbal person and need to get things off my chest (or heart in this case).
Its been especially rough this year because it is compounded with these feelings of being totally overwhelmed by school (last semester of college) and my questionable future. On a positive note, I bought a new fishtank this weekend so I have something to distract me from all of this when I have time to work on it.
Thanks again for replying. It really helps just to have someone reply.
Post Edited By Moderator (Admin) : 5/11/2006 10:46:03 AM (GMT-6)