It's a pleasure.
I'm so happy to hear that you have indeed found someone as I'm a strong believe in how important this is. We're not truly complete until we have that special someone in our lives.
I can totally understand you're wanting to keep some distance... and am sure you know this but don't allow what your husband did to color your view on all this. Do what you need to do for you but don't be afraid to let him share what you are going through and especially everything else in life with you. If it was me I'd want to be there in the good times and bad, helping you through and sharing with you. That's how I look at it with my wife. It's very very hard at times but this is one of the things a spouse is supposed to be there for. God brings us together for a reason... when it's really meant to be. Often we as humans make mistakes and make the wrong choices, but hopefully in the long run it all gets sorted out and we end up finding the one and true to be with for the rest of our life. I feel so sorry for so many folks that choose their mate based on money or looks or things that in the long run mean little or nothing. Most people don't consider the realities in relationships and that's where so many of them go wrong. Those vows are there for a reason but most people just say the words without really paying much attention to them. But luckily life often gives us more than one chance to get it right.
I am extremely fortunate. We met at a Sci-Fi club meeting... we'd both been members and I'd been Secretary and VP yet we'd never met. Turns out we'd gone to the same high school, had many mutual friends, etc. but again never met. Even have a pic in the yearbook where she's in the front left corner and I was in the back right corner in a large crowd. Close, but took us a bit longer to find each other. In fact we almost didn't go to the meeting but I'm so glad we did. Our president who was a close friend did a bit of match making and it's stuck!
Once we found each other it was like we'd always been in each other's lives. On May 2nd we'll have been together for twenty two years and not unlike the Timex watches of old we just keep on ticking.
It has been so wonderful being together but now, after years of planning and dreaming and hoping to have gotten up here where we've wanted to be, thinking and hoping that all the major problems were behind us... at least for a time as I know such things never end... and then have new ones pop up again so soon. I pray they're not as bad as she thinks and will be able to be worked out and we can get on with all the things we've planned and hoped for.
And of course with most guys the first thing you want to do is "fix it". And when we can't we get even more frustrated and bent out of shape. I don't want her to hurt or have problems... would take them on myself if I could and know she feels the same way. But we know God has a plan and if it's in that plan that it all gets worked out it will be. We just have to do what we can on our end and let Him handle the big stuff.
More times than I can even remember we've both done that... put those things we simply feel are too much for us to handle in His capable hands. And they "always" work out. The times we've tried to just do it on our own is when things don't go too well. I think God needs to be needed and this is His way. He wants to take care of His children... and as children we do some really stupid things at times.
Thankfully He's always there to pick up the pieces and make things okay again.
Hang in there! I know due to what happened before it will likely take a while before you are ready to let him all the way in the door. But if he is truly "the one" it will all be worth it... for both of you. And I wish you all happiness from the bottom of my heart.
Got to run for now but wanted to thank you again for being there. Bright spirits like your's are what make it worth getting up and facing another day.