Looking for Support

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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 344
   Posted 2/8/2006 10:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi.  Just posting this message is a huge step for me.  I'm still in denial that I have chronic depression.  I saw a therapist about 6 months ago who diagnosed me as soon as I walked in the door - which shocked, angered, and confused me.  I saw him for a few months, but I began to feel worst rather than better, so I stopped.  I have had good success with therapists in the past, but I'm a bit hesitant now.
I've recently landed my dream job, started dating a really nice guy, and moved to a more "happening" place.
But, the blue demons seem to have found me in my new abode.
I'm sad, lonely, and depressed.  The wonderful person I'm dating wants to help, but doesn't know how.  My friends and family all live quite a distance away, and I haven't found any people I can really open up to nearby, since they are all are busy with their own families and problems.  Does anyone understand and/or can offer any pieces of advise, wisdom, or support?
Thanks in advance-
Feeling Blue 

New Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 2/8/2006 11:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi... Well yes I understand you because I feel the same way as you do. But at least I'm really glad that your boyfriend wants to help you. I hope you get better, and good luck. And also write here! You're going to be understood/heard in this forum.

Post Edited (irene17) : 6/25/2006 2:12:17 AM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 2/10/2006 11:12 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi sadsong,  Welcome to healing well forum.  I am glad that you found us.

I have also experanced this with thearpy.  The feeling that it is not helping and I have worseing depression while going.  And I have also in the past quit going to several counselors because of this.  I have severe abuse issues in my past.  It wasnt until I was working on my B.A. in Psychology and working in the mental health field that I realized that this was from the counselor was getting to close to "to real problem".  I had buried my abuse issues from my childhood so far down and never spoke of them that talking to a counselor about it would make me feel more depressed.  So I would quit going as I would feel that it wasnt helping.  It is so amazing how the mind works.

I am not saying that this is your issue but for a lot of people this is one of the main reasons that they stop treatment.  Something to think about......


Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2004
Total Posts : 1372
   Posted 2/10/2006 1:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Are you on any medication for the depression? I would suggest another try with a different counselor or talk to your doctor about it. I have found more relief from taking two anti-depressants than I got with a counselor. You are indeed lucky that your boyfriend wants to help, so many people out there just don't care that much.

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 398
   Posted 2/10/2006 2:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi and welcome to HW. You will find lots of understanding and supportive people here. It's hard for our loved ones to "help" as much as they want to. Try and keep communicating with your boyfriend, let him know you appreciate his support. Sometimes all we need is a hug.
Everyone's experience with therapy and meds is different, keep searching until you find what's right for you.
Come here and share often . . .

Take care,


Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 344
   Posted 2/10/2006 7:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you to all of those who have responded. I greatly appreciate your kind words and thoughts.


I wanted to especially thank you for responding. It seems like I keep searching the world for those special people who have both compassion and the willingness to listen. So thank you for sharing your own story.

I also wanted to express my hardfelt sympathy to you. I know from some of my past relationships that long distance can be hard, but it can also be very worthwhile. The anticipation of correspondence, of seeing each other after what seems like eternity, and just being in their arms again makes the hard part magically disappear. So, hang in there - if he's someone special, he may not understand what you are going through, but he'll be there for you when you need him the most.


Thank you for the warm welcome. I have benefited greatly from counseling in the past. I had two extremely compassionate counselors that I met with while I was in undergrad. Both were very supportive and good listeners. However, the therapist I met with last couldn't seem to follow what I was saying and could not remember what we had discussed in our last session, which became quite frustrating. I think I need to find a therapist that embodies those same qualities of compassion and active listening that I thrived under before. Can you suggest some specific questions that I should ask, that would help me find a therapist that's a good fit?

Hi bluemeanies-

Thanks for responding. I am not on any antidepressants. Nor, have I taken any in the past. I really try to limit the amount of medications I take, eat healthy, get plently of rest, and exercise daily. My body becomes extremely sluggish when I don't exercise. I easily slip into a depression when I don't get enough to eat and I haven't exercised in a while. Which is what happened last weekend. Luckily, my boyfriend came over and just held me while I cried and cried. I kept apologizing and telling him I didn't know why I was so depressed, but he just kept holding me anyway. Which was exactly what I needed. I hope you have found some people who do care about you and are willing to listen.

Hi Sadsunshine-

Thank you too for the warm welcome and words of wisdom. It is exactly the kind of support I am looking for. I guess I sometimes find it difficult to express myself, especially in person. I want to be able to open up to my friends and family, but I also don't want to burden them. My folks are going through enough right now. My dad's been in and out of the hospital since the beginning of December. He had a stoke, then they found cancer (which luckily turned out to be a cyst) and then he had to have a colonoscopy because of an infection. Now, he's being treated for another infection. It's been so much to take in and deal with. I live a good distance away from them, so I also feel guilty for not visiting. But, on the other hand, there's a part of me that doesn't want to visit because I know it will make me more depressed. So, right now I'm torn between filling my daughterly duties and taking care of myself. Any additional words of wisdom you'd like to share would be especially appreciated.
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