Posted 2/26/2020 9:06 PM (GMT -6)
I hope my ramblings find you warm and peaceful and joyful. I just popped in to introduce myself, say howdy and maybe find some peace.
**complete transparency: I don't officially have a dx of depression**
I've seen quite a bit in this life and have always coped well. Multitasking was second nature and I could juggle so much. Due to my past jobs (army medic, social worker, mom) I stayed acutely aware of my stess responses and have actively worked to live a healthy stable life. My biggest issues, my only real medical issues have been orthopedic damage (knee and shoulder) from a couple of misadventures and damage from having the kids.
Last fall I began to experience very unpleasant neurological symptoms. This led me on a path through some very dark places and painful experiences. Last month, despite my compliance with all service reccomendations, my hardcore dedication in physical therapy and months of investigations by multiple disciplines I found myself in very bad condition physically. My husband immediately took me to our local hospital. This is a small rural county hospital which does not have access to a neurologist. After trying to stabilize me for several hours I went for a 4 hour ambulance ride to the people who could help. Rural living has its drawbacks. Few, but some.
I spent several days alone in this huge University hospital as they played the differential diagnosis game. You might know the as the let's stab poke pinch image insert, medicate, and lots of other not so fun activities to the lady in bed 7089a.
Anyhow, this tale ends with me learning that I have a chronic illness that may or may not resolve, and may or may not flare back up at another time. Heavy duty medication will be needed for life. Oh, it might take a couple tries to find the right medicine and dose, and yes there's some really gnarly side effects to the meds. Physical/occupational therapy will be my forever friends. We may even throw in speech therapy. Monitoring by specialist will permanently remain on my calendar. With this degeneration I can (probably will) lose my mobility and more worrisome, my cognitive abilities.
My primary has now referred me to the local mental health center for an assessment for depression and anxiety. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm going to get high score on both of those tests.
It's amazing how much your life can change & so fast, and how much you change. I'm not the same person, and I'm not sure I ever could be again.
Anyhow, that's my story.