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Depression
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ForeverPositive
Regular Member
Joined : Mar 2019
Posts : 314
Posted 1/12/2021 5:42 PM (GMT -7)
Hi everyone,

Been in a funk. Feel lethargic and want to sleep all the time. Finding it harder and harder to get out of bed, etc.

To make it worse, I'm starting to catastrophing thoughts again. It is so draining.
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Chotti
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2013
Posts : 593
Posted 1/12/2021 6:57 PM (GMT -7)
I’m with you on the freezing weather Karen. When it’s icy no one can drive. Especially on the slightest hills not to mention just plain walk any where. We have what we refer to in the PNW bumper cars on icey roads here. Chains nothing can help with traction. Sorry your hubs dr appt was cancelled. I hope he will be ok and book another at a better time.

Trying to stay positive. It’s time for me to unlock all the hidden potential and energy I have now since most went into helping my son, because the truth is I had been super involved in getting the best help for my son for years. I miss him . Now I have discovered that I have just begun to scratch the surface into other areas of life. Been on the county board for children, teen and adult mental health advocate for my county for years. Always looking for resources , councilors and legal aide. Very hard to find . Now it’s time to turn the page to create a separate thread to nurture other areas in life. It’s a good thing.
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getting by
Forum Moderator
Joined : Sep 2007
Posts : 44957
Posted 1/13/2021 3:07 AM (GMT -7)
I find with recent events I too have catastrophic thinking. I call it worst case scenario thinking. I think of some of the worst possible things. I think we are all getting this from anxiety.

Chotti, you are pretty good at staying positive. Keep up the fantastic work.

I think we are all going through a super hard time and only time can heal this.

Let's keep our chins up the best we can. Not easy by any means.

Hugs, Karen...
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paul_t
Regular Member
Joined : Sep 2018
Posts : 184
Posted 1/13/2021 5:22 AM (GMT -7)
Same here with the catastrophic thinking. Not much makes sense when people are so convinced their side is right while offering no rational reasoning. I get a sense of impending doom that one of the many awful scenarios will materialize. Of course, in case like these, it's usually something I never thought of.

Agreed with Karen -- stand tall for now and it will pass, no matter how bleak it might seem...

Best of luck to all.
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Chotti
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2013
Posts : 593
Posted 1/13/2021 11:51 AM (GMT -7)
Hi everyone....

The sun is shinning today. Sky is clear. As I walked thru the garden lots of early blooming plants and bulbs popping up. No damaging winds and it’s uplifting to see how beautiful it can be in January.

My garbage area looks like a family has moved in. It’s gonna be cleared out today with the trash collection.

Refinishing wood floors looking so much better. It never ceases to amaze me how some dreary things around the house get so icky ... because I’m so used to looking at it ... or mabe not as mindful as I could be.

Peace, health and healing. Sending super hugs to all....🤗🤗🤗🤗
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getting by
Forum Moderator
Joined : Sep 2007
Posts : 44957
Posted 1/14/2021 8:39 AM (GMT -7)
It is lovely to hear about flowers from people in states that aren't as cold as it is here. Thank you and also thank you to Pitmom for sharing with us.

I hope you all are having a good day today.

Damp here and cloudy. Not real cold though as the roofs are dripping.

Take care everybody...

Hugs, Karen...
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getting by
Forum Moderator
Joined : Sep 2007
Posts : 44957
Posted 1/14/2021 8:40 AM (GMT -7)
Forever...

I hope that you are feeling better.

Hugs, Karen...
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pitmom
Veteran Member
Joined : Jan 2015
Posts : 2782
Posted 1/14/2021 11:34 AM (GMT -7)
My regrowing red twig dogwood is starting to fade...a bit early...but I'll take an early Spring! The lilac has redish tips, too! Nature does not lie. My jonquils (mini daffs) have sprouted new foliage, as well. So much happening if we only take the time to look! I also see new growth on some of my day lilies coming up already! No guarantees, but I like the outlook.

Ordering a pizza delivered for the first time in months. Getting tired of my own cooking! Really have to watch I don't slip into 'depression eating'...yesterday was yogurt and Pirate's Booty...not good. Evidence came this morning.

Biopsy of the mass was done and results should be back today or tomorrow. MIL is to be discharged today but oxygen has to be set up first. Another hurdle. My partner is so stressed out! I told her I'd let my daughter and grandson have the trailer, I'd move in with her and her Mom and help, if it comes down to it. Time will tell.
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Chotti
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2013
Posts : 593
Posted 1/14/2021 6:17 PM (GMT -7)
Pitmom keeping 🤞for a good outcome on biopsy. You are so creative with all your finds to repurpose things and to update your surroundings. It’s always a good way to help keep a positive outlook , especially in winter. I luv your idea to use waffle shower curtains for Insulation over windows. A great idea to insulate the windows in winters and they look just like curtains. I’m gonna give that a try. Thanks for the idea.

Kathy ... when I lived in Colorado the winters were brutal. The traffic and cities have doubled since I moved to Oregon. I miss the skiing a family fun time. Not doing any skiing now since both hips replaced. The snow here is wet and too sticky. The snow is beautiful but I hated driving in it and scooping it off the driveway and the snow drifts were over the top of my front door. Here it just rains 8 months ... lots of green ....moss grows on everything Ugh! Sending healing blessings your way. It takes time to recover from the loss of a pet.

HT.. It’s turtle time and time to spruce up and tackle the garden chores. I can always tell a good gardener by how many garden gloves they go thru in a month! Glad to see you doing so well. How the fish? It’s always a good way to keep muscles in shape by walking in a pool. I did that many times for hips sporting new shinny components. I read the seasonal grass fires have started, and the weather is crazy there.

Karen sent you pics check your email....stay warm, the winter are gorgeous but cold. Hope you like amaryllis.

ForeverPositive , sometimes for me staying positive and mindful is my daily challenge to stay focused. I was diagnosed with seasonal depression. Never knew there was such a thing till I moved here. Winter’s always dark and cloudy, grey skies. Reminder to take vit-D. Grey sky’s is better than the red skies from last summers fires here. So I can’t complain, we need the rain.

Paul I saw on the news it snowed up north a week ago on I-5. So far we have had a mild winter here in north-western Oregon. Not a hard freeze yet and all the rain lately has made the ski resorts a icy slip and slide. And I found a leak in the patio roof...Ugh...and not ready to fight the moss... double Ugh?

My thought for today’s inspiration... is something I remember what Trina-‘BeNotAfraid’, said she learned from her dog.....” Live like someone left the gate open”.

Post Edited (Chotti) : 1/15/2021 3:52:37 AM (GMT-7)

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paul_t
Regular Member
Joined : Sep 2018
Posts : 184
Posted 1/15/2021 6:58 AM (GMT -7)
Hi Chotti -- living with SAD here in the PNW can certainly be tough, given the brief spring and summer and the gloomy rest of the year. I've known people similarly diagnosed whose offices shine bright with the white lights they put in, as per doctor's orders. This seems to help quite a bit, so hopefully your doctor prescribed something along these lines. (Ironically, my own SAD is sad in the sense that the bright summer days tend to be downers, mainly because I can't enjoy them as I used to. The gloomy, rainy days can actually be somehow refreshing and inspiring to me.)

Best wishes to everyone... have a good weekend!
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pitmom
Veteran Member
Joined : Jan 2015
Posts : 2782
Posted 1/15/2021 4:15 PM (GMT -7)
Worked on my office/dressing room today. Put up some shelves and hung a couple of small mirrors to hopefully bounce more light around the room. The only window is awkwardly placed due to a previous owner's remodel. At least now I have some of my 'treasures' on display. I've become a collector of milk glass it seems!

I have a box full of decor items I'm no longer going to be using, so when it stops raining here, I'll put the box out for my neighbors to look through. We're all 'thrifters' around here! Whatever is left I'll probably donate to the SPCA thrift shop. It will be strange seeing my things there when I go to shop...hope I don't buy any of it back!

I'd worried about the large canvas painting of a white egret not working with the French Country theme I have going...but, did a little research and they are in fact making a comeback after near extinction there! So, my beautiful art does indeed work with 'the new look'!

I have a full spectrum lamp that I've used for years to help me battle through winter depression and I take extra vitamin D. Even though I'm out with the dogs every day, so much of me is covered up that I'm sure I'm not making enough on my own. Taking B12 has been helpful, too.
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BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator
Joined : Apr 2012
Posts : 8568
Posted 1/16/2021 11:09 PM (GMT -7)
Pitmom good thoughts for the biopsy

I was quoted! Cool.

Where do you guys find all the energy to type so much??

Could be me, like all (lol) we digging victory gardens...
I constantly tell myself, it is the news anchors job. To get the public all ramped up.

Sometimes I just turn on Monty python Or something. Quickly I am back to a semi worry wart

Gotta get out..walk, go to the bank
WAWA etc.. this helps me realize where I Am, the reality I am living in.

And it is nothing like what is in my head
Have a great night all!
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paul_t
Regular Member
Joined : Sep 2018
Posts : 184
Posted 1/18/2021 6:05 AM (GMT -7)
Pitmom, also hoping the biopsy results turn out well (turned out well?)

Happy MLK day to everyone... Often I wish MLK's speeches were taken to heart in the modern day and age, and not just regarding race, as he's had a broader plan for the betterment of all.

Also happy Inauguration Day to all... hope it's not Insurrection Day instead! I have faith that the processes will work, though.
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pitmom
Veteran Member
Joined : Jan 2015
Posts : 2782
Posted 1/18/2021 7:56 AM (GMT -7)
'Mom' has not had follow up appointment yet for the results of the biopsy and treatment plan. We're all on pins and needles. She is home and spirits are good.

My son is being tested for covid...most likely contact place is work because he's been working extra hours and just going home to sleep. He repairs the machinery for a company that makes paper and boxes...amazon being their biggest contract, so quite busy lately.

The cat is doing better...at least for now. Waiting to see how it goes now that she's off the antibiotics.

I've got to get out of the house!!! I so dislike being cooped up in winter...Lisa only coming down for a few hours on Saturdays...non stop pet care...no real break. Can't eat anything without one of the dogs or both begging. It's all just getting to me. Back door flew open in the middle of the night...again...setting the dogs off barking and howling! It wasn't even that windy! I cannot wait to get the repairs done on that wall!

Maybe I'll bundle up and take a walk in one of our local parks. Hopefully it will change my perspective.
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pitmom
Veteran Member
Joined : Jan 2015
Posts : 2782
Posted 1/18/2021 2:15 PM (GMT -7)
Just got the call. Confirmed stage IV colon cancer, metasticized to liver and lungs. MIL will follow up with oncologist about chemotherapy. If you pray...please include her and her daughters.
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Buena76
Regular Member
Joined : Mar 2019
Posts : 364
Posted 1/18/2021 8:27 PM (GMT -7)
Pitmom, I am so sorry to hear about your MIL's cancer diagnosis. I am wishing you all strength as she goes through treatment.
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paul_t
Regular Member
Joined : Sep 2018
Posts : 184
Posted 1/19/2021 4:48 AM (GMT -7)
Pitmom, that's awful news. I'm sorry. There's been cancer in my family as well, and I've always dreaded anything like this. At least chemotherapy has a good chance of working nowadays. We may not know each other all that well, aside from this forum, but this sort of puts us on the same page. I'll pray for you, your MIL and her daughters.
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BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator
Joined : Apr 2012
Posts : 8568
Posted 1/19/2021 3:11 PM (GMT -7)
Pitmom I am sadden to you news.

She and all will be in my prayers...
I also pray you remember to take of yourself as you do your flowers. For if you don't. How can you be strong for those you want to help.

Hugs!!!💐🐞🏵🕊🐕💛
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BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator
Joined : Apr 2012
Posts : 8568
Posted 1/19/2021 3:25 PM (GMT -7)
Catastrofizing. I did Saturday..

We all do it to some extent.

In order to bottom line the worse and see if we can survive.

Think for a minute. When our ancestors were hanging out in the communal cave.

Creative people started using ash and blood, charcoal etc...to draw and tell stories.

One fall, new berries were found that kill, stain a wonderful blue color.....hide the berries for art....risk going against conventional ways.

Next spring, berry guy meets yellow root girl.
Eventually both are banded, breaking rules.

That's right,, ! as Ray Ramano would say.

They started the first Arts, culture and hippie tribe!!!

Their caves prove it!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣
Gotta love it!
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getting by
Forum Moderator
Joined : Sep 2007
Posts : 44957
Posted 1/19/2021 4:49 PM (GMT -7)
Hi Pitmom,

Sounds like you have a lot going on right now. Remember to take care of you.

Keeping you in my prayers.

Hugs, Karen...
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pitmom
Veteran Member
Joined : Jan 2015
Posts : 2782
Posted 1/19/2021 8:27 PM (GMT -7)
Her spirits are good...she's going to fight! She was having trouble getting out of her chair in the den. I suggested adding foam under the seat. Lisa had some eggcrate in the garage. Three layers of it was enough for Mom to get up unassisted. She called to thank me! Such little things can mean so much!

My son has tested positive for Covid. Please God, don't let the last time I saw my son be the last time I see my son!

My daughter has strep and thrush. She's been off hydrocortisone for several months now and I pray being on Prednisone for the strep doesn't cause an issue with her adrenal glands again as can sometimes happen.

That's my 3. At least the cat is better.
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Sometimes i am me (HT)...
Elite Member
Joined : Mar 2009
Posts : 22134
Posted 1/22/2021 5:52 AM (GMT -7)
Sending many healing thoughts pitmom.
And to you all. HT
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BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator
Joined : Apr 2012
Posts : 8568
Posted 1/22/2021 9:47 AM (GMT -7)
Hugs Pitmom. One moment at a time

You are right, the smallest things mean the most at times.
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pitmom
Veteran Member
Joined : Jan 2015
Posts : 2782
Posted 1/22/2021 4:41 PM (GMT -7)
Worked on clearing my desk today. Took some paperwork over to the bank to get notarized, then came home and put it in the mail, along with my driver's license renewal.

Cleared off the shelves in the kitchen window, rearranged the decor pieces and got my emerging amaryllis up for some morning sun.

Had a nice steak and some rice for dinner. The dogs are always happy to finish what I can't.

Not looking forward to the colder temps coming. We've been pretty lucky so far. I just keep telling myself that the Spring bulbs need the cold in order to have good blooms in just a few weeks time.
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Chotti
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2013
Posts : 593
Posted 1/23/2021 3:52 PM (GMT -7)
Hubby was called from VA to go in to the VA Hospital for covid vaccine ...he is 2nd stage kidney failure. No one there, strangely empty, kind of scary to see the hospital so empty on a Saturday. I’m not included for vaccine yet even though I’m his caretaker... Go figure... with all my issues... We wore two masks, eye protection, no face touching, etc. He was not allowed anyone to accompany him inside he used his cane to get to a wheelchair. Checked in and waited until called for vaccine injection from waiting room where chairs spaced out 10’ apart. After injection a wait for 15 minutes if any reaction in another room with chairs spaced .

When we got home removed all our cloths in laundry room and washed in hot water twice per recommendations. At our age not the prettiest scene we both laughed as we shed our clothing and the saving grace remark was it’s ok I remember when we were in our 30’s how tight we were. Another laugh... so it won’t be till April until I go to the outdoor sports arena for my vaccine.

Best part we stopped at KFC drive up ... haven’t had in over 2 years..... Yummmm.

Post Edited (Chotti) : 1/24/2021 4:41:21 PM (GMT-7)

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