Hi, I'm new to this forum. After reading a little about
depression and bipolar disorder, I don't know which one I have. Not that I care too much about
the title, I just want to see if anyone relates and if I have any hope :)
Basically, my whole life I've had very depressed/anxious/self-conscious feelings. More into adolescence, I began having these extreme cycles of 2 different outlooks on life. The first one is being depressed, wanting to stay in bed all day, eating a lot, feeling worthless, unmotivated, etc. The second one I feel elated pretty much 24/7. Nothing can bring me down. I almost don't want to go to sleep at night bc that would be less time being alive. I have drive, confidence, etc. The problem is, it never stays here. I go through this feeling for maybe a month or two at a time, and then ALWAYS go back to being depressed. I've come to the point where I don't even want to get out of my depression bc of the letdown I will feel when I inevitably become depressed again. Anyone going through this at all? I mean, I am the type of person who keeps trudgin on or else I wouldn't be here today. The good periods keep me going but I'm hoping that fleeting happy periods aren't the only things that sustain me for the rest of my life.
Also, I finally gave into meds about 5 weeks ago when I started taking Wellbutrin (150 mg daily). I seriously feel no different except maybe more depressed than before bc now it's like even more helpless if meds can't help :(