Posted 8/24/2022 4:56 AM (GMT -8)
So, i guess the best thing i can offer, is i am me, and really
have always been. Regardless of my ups n downs, and many in betweens
i am still me. Life is a daily process, each day is different,
espexially if we let it be. Regardless of in and out flux, mania and depressive malaise
i am still me.
My process is one of acceptance, not just me, not just mind, but within the greater world
in my thoughts and ideals, within you me, within life and death.
My reality is to live my best life, yeah a challenge, a work in progress.
For me i must acknowledge my growth, my weaknesses, challenges.
Strengths, i am strong, the mind is stronger, the body is becoming so. Yes the turtle is in
the water and the gym! Yes, new wheels, the beast two, i have named black betty.
More strengths, is i too can be loved, for me! Wow. To meet that one, is precious, the
acceptance of our warts and all!
Therapy, well, it is a great thing, especially when ya just bouncing the ball, chewing
the fat and knowing your own realisations, and when they are reciprocated is awesome,
no ego intended, just the boost. I have come to the understanding that what i do each day
is enough for that day, then that day has passed. Also i am always cgnisant of the wonderful people in
my circle.
If i am sore, i am sore, if i don't sleep, i don't.
However i do the things i need to, such as the gym, for strength and pain management, water
for hydro and recovery, riding for fitness, freedom, and yes, daring!
Have started a new water work tablet, i upped the dose myself, better, i hope.
Been eating more, am going with it, but watching it. Med related, somewhat. Tiredness somewhat.
It is a real awakening to see ones own development in written format, since 2009 here, wow,
i have gone through some phases! I am giggling, they are all true. Taking each day as it comes.
My endocrinologist has given approval for me; providing i am accepted by the drivers licence medical
advisory board to restart my drivers license. Am awaiting. I have passed the mandatory eye exams.
Also, i will be going to Thailand next year for 8 days with my partner, yep, we both have just renewed our passports, awaiting them, yeah paid the coin. Hotel is booked, i got myself a much needed suitcase today.
So, well, i am turning 50 soon, geez, i thought i would be dead prior to this! My body has rattled the bucket on a couple of occassions, thus i seize the day! What does the future bring, who knows,
am going with the flow, yeah i still have my moments, don't we all. So much more i could say,
but words are just them. These days, and for a bit now i try to be a good person, to be me.
So to those holding onto the past, let go, even a little, this is my wisdom.
Positives, i have a comfortable unit, my fish are alive, i have no debts, i have food and music.
I have a special person of whom i love with all of my heart, i have my circle, i have air to breathe.
Strange, but i think of many on this and other forums. There are some lifers, some mid termers, and some
who have come in, all unique, all with a talent of caring, and many who have taught me a thing or
two. So, my partners dog had pups a while ago, the last left a couple of weeks ago cavailier poodles.
5, yes it has been an eye opener, and a process, but all have gone to loving homes,
especially my favouirte, i called black boy, the only male. He coonected with my sis and her
partner when they drove from Melbourne, yes, they have had it rough, and i gifted them him.
he is a precious little expletive-and is on the shops web site and has his own
instagram page! My partner will never do it again, and if she does i will seek a mental health assessment!
Winter is almost over, but dying hard. In October, just after my 50th i will head to mt retreat for seven
days.
For me, i don't know when i am going to kick the bucket, so i am endevouring to strive a bit more.
Life is too short for bs. To the many warriors on this forum, and a few others, know i think of yas often,
keep strong, all of yas. Just got an update on blackboy, a real rebelious bugger, just like me! lol.
Well, that's it i guess.
Live life, yesterday is in the past, tomorrow is a new day. Do what ya can each day, don't
beat yaself up if you did not get a stack done. Breathe the air............
Say g'day to people, even when ya don't get a reply, i do. I have been in this space, when i was disassociated, and i tell ya, you do remember that someone acknowledged you when ya under a bridge
trying to keep warm!
Love and peace to you all.
May you be guided by good people, by compassion and kindness,
and in turn do likewise. HT