Help~unsure of what to do

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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 29
   Posted 2/25/2006 11:55 AM (GMT -6)   

I am somewhat new to this forum (haven't posted about this).  I joined because I was recently diagnosed with Crohn's disease.  I have been going through an emotional and physical battle since I was about 15.  It all started when my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer.  He deteriorated so quickly and so painfully.  He died about 2 years later when I was a senior in high school.  I was daddy's little girl all my life and now I had to cope with him being gone forever.  The way I coped was extremely unhealthy.  I tried to hide the pain by doing illegal and harmful substances to make the hurt go away.  As many of you know, that only worked for awhile and it did nothing but cause more problems.  Now I am struggling with my health and I am so worried that I will end up dealing with the pain my dad experienced.  This disease is hereditary (so they are sure my dad had it before it turned into cancer).  This disease is incurable and at this point I have had ZERO luck with any type of treatment.  I am dealing with this alone and I feel like I have no one.  I have a great family, boyfriend, and tons of friends that support me, yet all I want to do is be alone and not talk about what I am going through.  I have been EXTREMELY irritable and fatigued lately (more than usual).  I have been taking steroids for my disease and they are not helping with me feeling like I am crazy.  Luckily, since they were giving me way too many side effects my dr is taking me off them, but who knows what is next.  I just want to feel like myself again.  I don't want to feel like I am going to break down at any moment and either become very angry or very sad.  So, to sum all that whining up...I just want to know what you guys think?  I am really considering talking to my dr about starting some type of anti-depressant.  Any suggestions on what would hopefully make me happy and fun living and want to go on?  I appreciate your help and opinions!  You guys are so helpful!  tongue

Texas Aggie
Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 2/25/2006 4:59 PM (GMT -6)   


I am so sorry to hear you are having such a tough time.  Losing your father when you were so young is devestating.  I too am dealing with health issues and I have battled depression.   I think talking to your doctor about getting on an antidepressant would be a great idea.  I am on Effexor and it literally saved me. You go from feeling so sad and angry all the time to feeling normal again.  Things that made you happy in the past can make you happy again.  When you are depressed, it doesn't seem like you will ever be happy again. It is a very lonely feeling.

I also think talking to some kind of counselor or therapist would be really helpful.  They could help you learn coping techniques for your fear of ending up like your father and help you with learning how to grieve in healthy way, instead of turning to drugs and alcohol.

Also, just sharing your story on here helps - makes you realize that you aren't alone at all!  I know I feel better when I read others stories and when I share my own.

Hang in there - things are going to get better!!


Lumbar post laminectomy syndrome, radiculopathy, spinal stenosis, disc degeneration, otesoporosis, spinal cord stimulator. No accidents - just inherited a bad back.
Meds: Effexor, Gabitril, Hydrocodone, Percocet, Ativan, Flexiril (not all at the same time) :)

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 2/26/2006 11:57 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Erika,
I don't think your whining : your describing a tough situation. i forget which author wrote that only depressed people have an acute understanding of things. I think it may apply here.
I believe oral steroids are associated with mood changes : forgive me for mentionning something you may already know but withdrawal from them might you regain some control on your emotions.
You say you feel like no one is there to help you : distress hurts so much. I know it makes me want to cry continously. What kind of help can you ask from your family and friends ? I remember asking my sister to call me everyday : she did. My sister-in-law made sure I didn't miss medical appointments. Those are examples : what would help you ?
You say you have no chance of a cure : no hope is intolerable. If there really is no hope, what do you wish to do ? Suffer quietly ? Have some fun for as long as you can ? Or is there an alternate perspective ? Can you get a second medical opinion ? I imagine you have researched your illness : can you share your knowledge with your physician or obtain more information from him/her : taking an active part in treatment decisions could help. I do not know your situation, i do not wish to trivialize it. your hopelessness is so poignant.
Anti-depressants might help, they are not a miracle cure. I have found that in certain circumstances they get you out of the water when your drowning. Once you're out, you can learn to swim. If you're down and out, a pill could help and then talk therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy could solidify your sense that you will not break down. They helped me.
The people around me did not know howto help me when depression was at it's worse. I don't if this helps. Please don't become your illness but remain yourself.

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