Coming back after a long absence...

Hello, Karen. It's so nice to see that you are still here. I can't begin to imagine how many people you have helped! I'm back after a long absence because I'm being faced with two very scary things right now. And its eating me up because I just am having trouble dealing with them. In all honesty, I feel more anxiety than depression but I guess the toss up doesn't really matter. First, last month I was unexpectantly told I have a right renal mass (while getting x-rayed for pain that turned out to be an obstructive kidney stone.) I found out Tuesday, after having the kidney stone broken up and removed in a laser surgery, that my mass is clear cell renal cell carcinoma. In short, it's cancer. The good part I've been told is it is Stage One as it is a small stone and it hasn't spread beyond the kidney. I will be having surgery for it on March 13th. Second, my brother and I have been having suspicions about both our mother and father's failing memories. Tonight, it was laid out very clearly to me by another familly member about how bad my mom really is. As I always do when a stressful period hits, I stopped taking my depression meds (and I haven't told my prescriber yet). She has recently prescribed an anxiety med for me when I am severely stressed, but I haven't taken that yet either. I feel so overwhelmed right now. I just want to get the surgery over with, but now I have to wait and I'm scared. And the responsibility of what my brother and I will have to do is petrifying because I know things will not go down without a battle from my mom. Sorry, this is so long. But right now I am on the verge of tears. Thank you for just "listening." Cass

I wanted to write again and make sure I tell you that you will get through this. I found I do better in crisis than I do when things are going well. I think it is because all I can do is handle the situation at hand. Therefore I am in the moment more. So try to focus on one thing at a time and let your brother help with your parents. Like I think I mentioned before, you have a lot on your plate. Take care of yourself first and foremost.

Hugs again,

Karen...