Beeze, It definiatly isn't right that your ex is allowed to go on with his life so easily while you are left with so many scars.
I am 32 years old, I didn't meet my real father until I was 24. My mom divorced him when I was 3, I didn't have any memories of him. She had me when she was 17, so that was very young. He was very abusive to her while they were married. The first time he ever hit me she left and never went back. To this day she carries the scars that he left. I have managed to have a relationship with him over the last 8 years and he has calmed down a lot with the help of antidepressants and getting /recovering from lung cancer 5 yrs ago. But if I even mention him you can visually see the change in her. So I try very hard not to mention him.
Getting counseling and the right kind after something like what you have been through is so important. I remember that you stated you find yourself not wanting to disappoint your therapist. Perhaps before your next appointment with her you can make a list of things that are bothering you that you think about on a daily basis, and also things that you want to improve during your counseling sessions. Take that list with you and address them. If you cant do this or talk to her openly about it then you most certainly need to change. I wouldn't worry about hurting her feelings at all. Crisis centers have some of the best counselors for women that have been abused. It isn't going to hurt to look at their program and see what they have to offer.
The most important thing to remember is that if you like you than others will too. You don't have to put yourself out there or be confident or self assured all the time. If you believe in your own qualities and what you have to offer no matter if it is at work or personal then everyone else will too.