I am sorry you are having such a tough time. I have a similiar problem with worthless feeling and not being able to accept the good things others say about
me. It seems to be a core belief. I don't know if it will ever change. My therapist said me acknowleding it is the first step and then being sensitive to it when it happens. Sometimes it's really hard.
As far as the meds. I have found for myself. If the meds don't start showing some sign of working in the first few days, they never do. I have to switch to something else. You just have to get to know your body and its reactions. If this med doesn't work, don't give up. It's easy to do when you are depressed. Get ahold of the doc or on the next visit talk to him about
trying a different med. You will know when you find the right one and it can make a world of difference.
Is there any chance of going on medical leave until your med's kick in. I did that a year ago. I was off for six weeks. I felt bad about
taking of, but honestly was not focusing at work and was afraid of the job I would be doing in the state I was in. It did help me. Maybe check out your options. I hope things get better for you soon.