I have a strong feeling that some of my friends are now avoiding me because I suffer from depression. I have been friends for a long time with this one gal. We used to get together to go shopping or go to sports bars to watch football games. I have not seen my friend since before christmas. I have only talked to her for about
5 minutes on the phone the night of the Super Bowl when she returned my call. I have not had an email from her since I don't know when other than to respond to an email that I sent asking if she would like to do something and then it is only to tell me she has other plans. She and another friend she used to work with used to call me on Friday nights when they were going out to dinner and I would meet them. I usually go with my dad out to eat somewhere fast on Fri. nights but since they usually met later I was able to meet them. Neither of them have called me for ages to meet them and I just found out they met with another friend of mine Fri. night but noone thought to call me. One of them I still see each week and talk to on the phone all the time. I suspect I was not invited because several of them did not want me around. One of the other gals that went Fri. night is a very good friend to the friend I talk to but that gal does not like me. That is a known fact. I was told that by my friend. The four of them are good friends. In fact, the one who does not like me had a NY eve party and I was the only one not invited. Belive me, I got very vocal about
that and how rude and inconsiderate that was. I finally got invited but had already found something else to do.
The one friend I have not talked to since before xmas, every year, like clockwork calls me and sends me a bday card in the mail and this year she did neither. Do you think I am being paranoid? I finally sent an email to one of the gals that I have heard from and told her how I felt. I am really thinking it might be best to cut off all ties to any friends. That way I would not be hurt anymore. Sure, I would be lonely but I would get used to being a recluse. I don't want to be around people who don't want me around. I know that I would have to cut the friendship with my one friend. I don't want to hear about
their get togethers. Three of us used to meet weekly for dinner but it is pretty much my one friend and I now. That would have to end also. Everything ends at some time or another. My pdoc asks me sometimes if I am paranoid, if I feel people are talking about
me. I always tell her no, because I don't. I would just appreciate any input anyone has.