I feel like life is moving in the fast lane. I wish I could slow it down. It feels like everything is increasingly harder. I'm finding it hard to find reasons to keep trying. If this is life, do I want it?
My son (fifteen) is now living at his dads (his choice). I pick him up everyday from school so I see him at least once a day. He does not want to go to school and does everything he can to avoid going. I think he will have to repeat the 10th grade at this rate. He has snuck his girlfriend in his dad's house a couple times by calling anyone he can to take him to pick her up from her house (about 30 mins away) and then the same to take her home around 4AM. He even calls me and his sister. I keep telling him no. I won't do it; then stop answering his calls. I fear for him, but don't know what to do. If I thought his living here would really make a difference I would do that even if he didn't want to. The thing is, he will find a way to do what he wants and I can't watch him 24/7. Does this sound like a cop-out?
He told me he was feeling depressed and thought he might need help with it. This is from a kid who refuses to take medicine. I took him to a good psychiatrist for an assessment and got him on medicine. That was only a week ago so we will have to see how it works. I see the same doctor and like the medicine he put me on, so I am hoping my sons medicine works just as well for him. I take him to therapy once a week. I think I will call his therapist next week to see if he has any suggestions.
Work has been very difficult as well. Found out I am getting a new boss next week and she is a very hard person to work for. She really doesn't care what is going on in your personal life, just wants the work done and done right. Not a good time for me to have this change.
I am running a project and have several problems that have arisen that I am having a hard time managing. I think I get one thing solved and another comes up right behind it. Then the first one comes back again. They want me to cut costs of the project, but the more problems that come up the more costs that will be created.
My daughter called me after work crying hysterically. She went to the bank after work (about midnight) and a car came up in front of her and blocked her way out. She freaked out and went over the sidewalk to get away and then realized it was her 15-year old brother with a bunch of guys. She drove to her dad's house to give him a piece of her mind. He wouldn't answer his cell phone. She knocked on the door. No answer. Then she called him on the regular phone and he said he didn't know who she was and wouldn't open the door. It crushed her. She knew he was awake. He never calls her. She only calls him and visits him. She doesn't like how he is handling Chris. She thinks he doesn't love her. When she got home I cuddled with her until she calmed down. We stayed up intil about 3AM.
I wish the world would slow down.