Posted 3/27/2006 5:50 PM (GMT -7)
Many years ago, when my husband was going through a depression, we found talking about it was the best medicine. It was after talking to people who had gone through the depression that he was able to turn his life around (no it didn't mean he left me), but by building houses was what he did, that he was able to take care of himself.
Now that he is gone,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I am having trouble with what I think is depression. I lost him 2 years ago after 46 years. It wasn't the best relationship towards the end............but we still did love each other. I feel our two children feel that possibly the wrong one left first. I have guilt about not recognizing that he was near his end when he went. Perhaps that is what is playing on me. Also, the children don'tknow what went on between us near the end. He was very critical with me to the point I wished him dead, and I ended up with heart disease. Near the end he was leaning on someone unknown to me ( I suspect). This also could be playing on my mind.
I have too many negative thoughts going through my head at this point. I just want to pick up and move to an isolated island in Ireland, and be left to my own divices.
Has anyone gone through these feeling after losing a loved one? I hope being able to put these thoughts down in print will help me heal myself