Halfway is a good start, and i can see a lot of light in "Who am I",
When i have my little downers or start thinking about the bad stuff in the past, i give myself a couple of moments to let my mind tell me about it, just a couple, "kinda like as if someone was telling me something, but i had to rush, so make it quick," then if it's the same old round and round stuff, i will say to these thoughts, as i would to someone else, "you have already told me this, what else have you got to tell me thats new"
2 minutes, no more, then i will take a deep breath, and while i let it out i will roll my shoulders, wiggle my head and shift my focus around the room, and whiile i do that, i think of something positive or even just ask myself to think of something positive, then do something, anything, we learn breathing techniques, but no one tells us how important the use of your eyes are, in changing what i going on in your mind, keep them moving, chaging focus, this allows time for you to change your negative thinking into a positive,
I can't talk at the mo, "i got that laringitis thingy" and i feel like yapping, so hope you don't mind
I have always tried to want over need, and my reasoning here, is need tends to cloud many issues and removes your own power, whereas wanting gives you choices, and it also gives other people choices, because need somehow envelopes others and ties them into things they don't really want, when they figure that they get angry and frustrated, wanting lets you get out of bad situations while need will keep you stuck there, for some reason love get thrown in with need and we wonder why it goes bad
I think we all know how to be happy, but when something goes terrible wrong, we go searching for answers when there are no answers to be found, we blame ourselves, because we think how could someone treat me like this unless ive been bad too, and the new agers get on this, saying you are responsible for your life situation, that is true but there is more to it, you are responsible for how you may feel, partly, but you are not responsible for what other people do to you that will make you feel bad, ever walked into a room full of people feeling good, then one step in and you feel yuk, we affect ourselves just as other people affect us, the more confidence and happiness in your life will shield you from how others do affect us like this, and the more able you are to want over need, will let you easily walk out of those situations without feeling bad
Sorry bout the yapping on, think i'll go and throw some bread crumbs out for the birds,
keep writing, it's good, well i like it, just quickly, did you write poetry before the bad stuff happened,?