I understand, and those decisions that you made I am sure were the best for you at the time. Most women feel guilt afterward and for a long time. You have to find a place in your mind and heart to keep that and know that it was the best decision as hard as it is.
As for the relationship, if you still are talking to him as friends or whatever, I dont know what to say. I have always been the type of person when I decided that it was over then it was over and there was no going back. If he is willing to work it out with you then great give it a try. If not then you have to work on moving on. There just is nothing else you can do. What I was meaning to say before was if you find happiness with yourself, inner peace, and I know trust me that it is so difficult to find. Then you will exude so much confidence and will draw men to you, you wont be alone for long. But you will not be able to have a lasting, happy relationship unless you fix yourself first. You sound like a beautiful, kind and caring person I dont see why any one or one hundred men wouldn't want to be with you.