hello to all,
I have been diagnosed as atypical bipolar type II! The labels might bother some people, however it may have saved my life because now I am receiving treatment for bipolarII instead of depression! And... Lamictal, a mood stabilizer, seems to have put the depression syptoms into remission! (I cross my fingers and pray) I take a high dose of 400mg because 150 mg did not lesson the severe depression phase. I also take 100mg of effexor.
I have been dealling w/ depression all of my life! I did not even realize what was wrong w/ me until I was 28!! I thought I was moody, fat, lazy, mean, *****y! I never thought it was an actual disease because I would be normal for about 6 months and then suffer debilitating depression for about 2 months. This cycle played over and over for years and I did not know what was wrong with me!!!! I also did not see the pattern until I was about 32! I was finally able to predict the next time I would go down and I was quite accurate! (within 2 weeks)
One major event has helped me deal with depression....
I was diagnosed with stage III B breast cancer. This occurred almost 2 years ago and I had a mastectomy followed by chemo, then a severe bout of suicidal depression, and finally radiation! (I can not get the itallics to stop!!) So far I am doing ok as far as breast cancer... I will not hesitate to say that depression is sooooooooooo much harder to survive than cancer!!! Depression breaks your will to live and for some of us we somehow make it through. My heart goes out to those who do not survive depression. I was in an up phases during cancer treatments and I prayed to live, but during bouts of depression I prayed to die. Such termoil!
This is my first time on a chat "thingy"! (Hey I lost my color
) Anyway I have more info about
my experience w/ breast cancer on the breast cancer forum!
Take care everyone and I am sooooo sad to hear of anyone feeling depressed...be kind to your- self, lower stress if you can, and try to ask for help! Help with dailly chores or help just listening to you or help by leaving you alone and not pressuring you until you are able to come out of your depression enough to even think of trying to live again!!
karen in north idaho