i like long posts, gives me something to read and helps fill in the spaces so i can understand a little better, so don't be sorry about how long it is, oh and welcome to HW, i love it here, great people, lots of different opinions and struggles, but all pretty much have a good story to tell about coming here.
Reaching out for understanding and also being involved in understanding others is what these forums are all about and hopefully we have a bit of fun too, i came to HW for a pain issue, and ended up posting in A/P, because i suffered anxiety partly due to the pain, as i also have a little depression at times, but nothing in comparrison to many here, but in those moments of continuos pain, coming here and sharing my thoughts and hopefully helping others, i forget everything else, and i have healed a lot since ,
I like to think that those with these conditions are messengers, natures way of telling the world where we have gone wrong, and what a great purpose that is, and what a great value you are because of that, of course it may not make you feel better but it offers something to think about, and getting involved, be it here or in some other way, will make your suffering less,
Maybe it could be a positive idea to try and get your kids involved in something you all could get pleasure out of, and teach them right at the same time, i don't know, doing something once a month or so, like going to the zoo "i don't like but they have a purpose", an art gallery or museum, doing something thats about the environment, ie plant some trees, take them out to a farm for a visit, stuff like that, gives you a break, they learn something good, and you're doing something positive too
hope you come visit us, at times or a lot, and hey go and have a look at the positive threads here and happy on A/P,
take care of yourself