D, you need to print out your first two posts on this thread and do two things with them. First, allow your wife to read them. You need a support system that knows EXACTLY what is going on in your head. She loves you and from what you have said about
her, will want to help you with this. She undoubtedly has noticed a change in your moods and behavior. She will not think you are crazy, she will be concerned for the man she loves and want to support you however you need her to.
Second, take the print out to your doctor and have him/her read them. You probably need medication, perhaps just temporarily, to cope with all the wide range of emotions you are having. There is no shame in admitting what you have told us, it will get you on the path to getting help. The absolutely worse thing you could do is NOT ask for help. The situation at work sounds horrible and you could really jeoparodize your employment now and in the future if you do snap.
Please know that I care about
you. I have seen a big difference in your posts in the past year. You have struggled with lots of issues. It is not cowardly or unmanly to ask for help with this. Please reach out...--Ides
CD, Ankylosing Spondylitis, peripheral neuropathy