I agree with Joan. People tend to be less nice about
mental-problem. So I too feel safer in my shell.
My true feelings, the feelings that i have inside,I think are more to an annoyance for others. I always end up feeling ashamed for being so pathetic in their eyes or pissed off as they can't seem to understand me. It makes me prefer to stay in the shell and live with my beautiful mask. It's always hard to talk or vent to someone else. So I just keep my feelings and thoughts to myself and live with it alone. I may talk, but never frank enough to bare myself up. 'An honest confession but the truth still lies behind!'.
But here, i mean in a forum like this i think i do will learn to share. Feels like there's no need to fear for the 'judgemental eyes' that stare when you tell your story. Really, people are really understanding and helpful here. I made some new friends who have same diagnosis as me and we talk about
our illness and thoughts freely.
So can say my shell is meant to protect me from being hurt by people that might not understand. For me, only people like us can understand us better coz we're going through the same tunnel of life.
Anyway, i wish you all the best with your relationship.
:: Chronic Major Depression :: BPD ::