Oh hun, im so sorry that this is happening to you, i went through pretty much the same type of situation, and i did stay, and i did do everything i thought i should.....i was 17 also. I am now 38, and i have only been divorced for 4 months. My life was a living hell, and i wasted half of my life on somene that doesnt know how to love and only made me feel so very worthless. I cant say it was all bad, i have three of the best kids in the world, but i didnt do them any favors either, I was beaten, raped, treated like i was nothing for so long, im still trying to convince myself that im not so bad. I agree with janetlee, if you dont do it for you, do it for your children. My kids were never abused like i was, but they surely didnt have the best childhood, and they deserved alot more. Do NOT let him make you feel bad for bringing up things that have hurt you, you need to be able to talk bout it, in my opinion, with my experience, id say........run, run as fast as you can, you do not deserve to be treated that way, and no one in the world has a right to make you feel this way. You may be lonely for awhile, i know i am, but.......even with the lonely, its better than the alternative. you will get over him, and you will have a much better life without him it sounds like. I hate to say such negative things, but......id also hate to see you waste as much time as i did. Any type of abuse, be it physical or mental, is not worth it. Life is supposed to be happy, and im just afraid if you stay, like i did, you will end up loosing some very good years. If im way off base, im sorry, but.....im just talking from experience. Its hard, its scarey, but....you can do it on your own, if i can anyone can. I have horrible panic attacks, and lots of depression, but since ive been away from him, i can tell you that even with the panic, i feel better. I have a ways to go, but please please think hard about staying with this man, no man is worth loosing yourself for. I wish you the best, and i hope i havent said to much, but i dont want to see you waste yourself on someone that cant love you like you deserve. We are all special, and we all deserve to be happy. ok sorry for rambling, its just so near to me that i have to give the advice i wish i had gotten and listened to. We all need friends that will listen, and if youd like, i will email you. I need friends too, although ive made some wonderful ones on here. We are all rooting for ya, god love ya,
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."