keeping myself occupied

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Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 33
   Posted 6/5/2006 4:18 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Everyone,  I rented 2 movies on Sat., and my husband and I spent quality time together.  He told me all the things that has been going on in his head.  Mostly about bills and $ being tight-I told him how we could pay the bills and still have $ left over.  Seemed he really liked my ideas and he was thrilled to hear I had already paid off our car insurance for the year.  He is slow at ever thanking me or giving me positive comments-compliments are few and far between.  Sunday he finally started working on our "to do" list.  He usually just lays on the couch or plays on his laptop.  He cleared out the garage and worked on his car.  I did the usual Sunday chores and it seemed more like a normal "family" day. Now instead of waiting to hear from the ex-boyfriend, I find things to keep myself occupied.  There is life after all this and I plan on concentrating all my efforts on positive things in my life.  My husband,family,friends and my job are #1 and the ex is at the bottom.  Soon I'll accept the fact that I was never meant to be with him in the first place.  And he won't even be on the list at all! Things are better and I hope they continue to only get better. Thanks for listening guys. krocks

Post Edited (krocks) : 6/5/2006 3:22:59 AM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 952
   Posted 6/5/2006 7:15 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear krocks,

I hope you and your husband have sought couples counseling, and also on the part of each of you, individually (you and your husband). It sounds like you do want to save your marriage; and if you had a boyfriend and you are even still struggling to forget him, some intervention is certainly needed with individual counseling on your part anyway.  On both parts, simply because this happened in the first place as well.

In addition, it sounds like you are unhappy in your marriage ... which is why the boyfriend came to pass in the first place. Now the boyfriend is gone, you are back into your marriage/family life, and you are still miserable and stating that your needs in the relationship are not met.

The two of you need to change this ... on both parts .... IMHO.

Best of luck and many prayers for you and the healing of your marriage and family.

~ Cindy

~ Prayers & Shares ~
Finally, whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable
-  if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -
think about such things. 

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 33
   Posted 6/5/2006 7:50 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear neurtrans-  No I'm not happy with my marriage.  I have so many friends that just seem to have the best marriages.  I don't know what happens behind closed doors however.  I know every marriage has it's downs.  Mine has only been downs for the past four months. I'm talking REALLY DOWN.  I am not physically abused, just a heck of a lot of mental.  IE: The other day we were watching Jeopardy and I ended up clearing a whole column, and he was like "Wow when did you get smart?"  Or the other day when -he calls himself a geek(because he is into computers), he decided to tell me that I was one before he met me.  I said"no", and then he goes"  ((my name)), You don't have to be intelligent to be a geek."  That hurt.  The worst is when I couldn't figure something out quick enough for him and he said"You can't be that stupid."  These are not the type of things I expected to hear from my loving husband.  It's like if we were just going out, I would have dumped him a long time ago.  Anything that is important to me gets put on the back burner.  I've wanted him to go to get his sperm count checked and he hasn't yet.  I can't keep nagging, and a baby isn't going to salvage our problems no matter how badly I want one.  He even told me we don't have enough $ to have one-like there's a magical amount of $ that you need to have in the bank to get pregnant.  I'll be 59 by the time he feels we have enough.  Wow the more I type my problems out the more I realize there are several problems with our marriage that I didn't even notice myself.  It feels good to get it all out.  Thanks again for giving me some input. krocks
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