hi, new here. need some help please:(

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New Member

Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 6/8/2006 6:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello all! I'm triomama or aka "Rae". I am a stay at home mother of three. My oldest son is 4, my daughter is 2 and my littlest one, a boy, is 5 months old. The youngest one has had a rough start in life since he was born with a rare disease called Hirschsprung's Disease. He has had two surgeries to fix this nonlifethreatening disease and the outlook is positive. However I believe I'm now suffering the "fallout" from my happenings in the past year.
While pregnant I found out my husband was cheating on me and had been for the past 2 years. The female (she doesn't deserve to be called a lady IMHO) called me to tell me of her dealings with my husband over the past two years. She told me how she had gotten pregnant and aborted her child because of me, my husband being the one that drove her to the clinic 
She threatend to burn my house down and "hoped my kids weren't in it". She threatend to kill my husband too. My husband and I stayed together to try to work things out. One month later he goes to the Southern U.S for hurricane Katrina relief work and stays gone for 3 months...this was mutually agreed on. While he was gone I slept with a shotgun next to the bed. I put my bed in the kids room so I could keep an eye on them at night. The dogs slept in the house too.
Two weeks after he came back our son was born. He was in NICU for 10 days and now, two surgeries later he is doing better. The longterm outlook is good.
I get anxiety attacks when we have to go...I always dread going. I get short of breath, my heart races and beats irregular. I get what I call "tunnel hearing", my palms sweat and I feel like I can't deal.
I am very protective over my kids now, more so than before.
I've had OCD, anxiety, PPD, in the past and just kinda delt with it. I went to see my OB/GYN a month ago and she told me that she thought I would "benefit greatly" from some antidepressants BUT I would have to stop breastfeeding. That is just not an option for me right now....given all that my son has been through. If I did I know for sure it would only make me feel worse about myself than I already do. I feel so helpless, sad, worried, lost, overwhelmed, ashamed...sometimes I just want to hide.  Nobody, not even my husband, realizes just how bad I feel because I do a really good job hiding it....anyone else hide theirs too? I hope nobody minds but I'm going to cross post this in the depression forum too. I know I suffer from that as well. I'm just trying to be the best person I can, somedays are better than others. Is it part of anxiety to have "off" days?
crossposted, I put this on the anxiety forum too.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2004
Total Posts : 798
   Posted 6/9/2006 10:52 PM (GMT -6)   

Welcome Rae.  First, a great big hug is being send your way for all you've been through :-).  I read your post on the crohn's forum re: your son and all he's been thorough.  Wow!  With all you've been through, it would be miraculous if you weren't depressed. 

I too suffer from anxiety and have taken an anti-depressant for the past 3 years and it has worked wonderfully for me.  I understand about the breatfeeding though and it won't last forever so hold tight and enjoy! 

Take care of yourself Rae and post again.  We're listening :-)

Take care, Softy

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 952
   Posted 6/10/2006 1:38 AM (GMT -6)   
More feedback on the above-referenced thread on the other board.

~ Prayers & Shares ~
Finally, whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable
-  if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -
think about such things. 

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 6/10/2006 8:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Rae,  I wanted to welcome you to healing well.  We are glad to have you.  I have been out of pocket for a few so I see I am a little late in posting to you and for that I do apolige.  You have received some excellent feedback from the A/P forum (thank you Cindy for posting the link :-) ) as well as from softy.  I dont have children so for that I cant relate but I can see where the situation has left you extremely rattled and anxiety ridden.  I was wondering if you filed a complaint against this women or looked into a restraining order with your local law enforcement?  Granted it would most likely be handled as a domestic dispute but when she has threatened your home and to physically harm your husband I would say that is pretty serious and should be addressed.  At least to have something on file should there be an incident in the future.  Please do continue to post we are always here...take care




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