Ate is right! What does your boyfriend think about it? Have you discussed it with him? Just remember though that should you marry him, then to an extent, you're marrying the whole clan! Like you, I would have a tendency to make remarks should I hear them put a nice person down. Since that starts mini-fights (which I wouldn't give a hoot about personally), I'd compliment her in front of them every time I got the chance. If they said something negative to her or about her in her presence, I'd look at her and say something like, "Don't you listen to them. You're a peach!" OR perhaps "I'll trade them my parents for you anytime!" I know you're getting the picture here. By addressing your remarks to her, what can they say? And IF they say anything, just look at them and SMILE innocently! Oh, they'd hate that! I'm sorry, but if I truly thought the world of her, I'd have to say SOMETHING! And if the boyfriend didn't like it, I'd wonder why he didn't take up for her too. This is just my opinion, of course and I realize that you have to deal with it how you wish. BUt if someone kicks a dog, I'm gonna try to stop it and so if they "kick" a nice person, I'm there!!
I was okay until that flock of bird dogs flew over...