Posted 6/18/2006 7:43 PM (GMT -7)
Things were going well for a while. I had relief from my insomnia, and I was getting a handle on the depression and anxiety.
Unfortunately I was hit by a drunk driver while riding my bicycle home one night(I was even on the sidewalk). Thankfully, according to the numerous doctors and medical personel I saw, I wasn't killed or "seriously" injured. I did however receive a concussion and some serious facial injuries (broken nose, orbital, forehead) and had to go back home to my parents for a while. What I found strange was that usually my trips home are when I'm feeling at my worst. This time everything felt normal, and I actually enjoyed being around my family again. My brothers were off school, my dad took some time off work to help me, and my mom didn't have to teach class that often during summer session. True I was in minor pain and it was uncomfortable not being able to eat or shower.. plus the added stress of missing class and work, but I was mentally feeling better than I had in the past few months. When I came back to school on tuesday, all my friends came to see me, my roommates stayed close for a while, and I had phone calls from all the relatives wishing me better luck. The rest of this week was a blur of make-up tests, work, doctors, and mindless conversation over the incident. The insomnia started again on thursday, I couldn't sleep and ended up watching tape delayed World Cup games. The roommates and many of the friends went away this weekend, the other friends I dont want to "party" with as I now have quite an aversion to alcohol. My mood has gotten a lot worse, I can tell since i found myself getting angry over not being able to fix the sink that one of the roommates broke while I was home. I just can't help but feel all the improvement I made during the past month has been "shot to crap" now. The one highlight I had during this weekend was getting to walk out to a payphone to call my dad and wish him a happy father's day.(the cellphone died thursday also)
Anyhow, I'm getting to the whole point of this post now. I have never notified the University of my depression or anxiety and insomnia. I do use university counseling and doctors for medication, but those facilities are separate from academics. At this point I am still enrolled in summer classes, have a job, and an apartment that has been prepaid for the rest of summer. If you had read my previous posts they said I am in summer classes not because I need them but because i didn't want to go home over the summer. Now I'm torn at a crossroads. I feel if I return home again I might be able to fight my insomnia and depression better, and I can use my hit and run accident to medically withdraw myself from class. On the other hand, I've already gone through more than half of the first summer session and am 4pt'ing my classes. I've found I'm very good at my job and my apartment is already paid for. So what I'm asking, since many of you have suffered depression longer than I have and might be able to offer some advice, is should I withdraw and go home or stay at school? The first summer session ends the 29th of June, so I could withdrawl from the second half of summer school and not even need a medical excuse. I know my family would support me in either decision (it was my mother who first mentioned withdrawing). I just thought I might push this out and see if any of you could offer me some help. I haven't been so sure of myself lately.