Yes I agree,I do need meds. I am working on that as we speak.
And I think this weekend was a total meltdown.Nothing would have made me happy I do not think.
I did need to be left alone.
It is funny as I was mad at him for not calling me at least. And the longer he was gone the more mad I got.
Then after not speaking to him for a day we finally sat down.And he made his points...GRRRRRR He was so right in just leaving. I had told him awhile ago that if I say"just leave me alone" then that means leave me alone. There have been several times when I first moved here that I needed to be left alone and cry. I went into the basement and shut the door and bawled,but he was worried about
me and came down there to try to figure out what is going on. It made the situation worse. And he decided that if I say I need my space then he is going to give it to me. He was worried about
calling as he did not want to intrude on my meltdown persay.
Then he flashed his big blue eyes at me and told me that he loved me and that I need to trust him and try harder to let him in. I understand that,but I also reminded him that since I was 12 yrs old I had to learn the hard way not to let anyone in. And it became worse when I was married. You can not take a lifetime of hard life and have it just disappear. It just does not work that way.
And while we are on that subject,the next not depressed person that says to me "just get over the past" is going to make me scream!!!! they have no idea how hard we try to get over the past. How hard we try not to let people see how we really feel. And,maybe I am being harsh here,but those people that say that I do not think they would ever be able to get over the past if they had to live some of the lives that we all have lived.
Sometimes I wonder if the people that have seen hard times in their lives,and have bouts with depression due to that,I think are stronger than the ones that have not had to deal with anyone of that. We know how to survive.
Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Post Edited (ShynSassy) : 6/29/2006 6:15:07 AM (GMT-6)