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I am loosing it literally!!!!!!!

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Posted 7/2/2006 9:33 AM (GMT -6)
hello to you all my name is kelly and now i have irritable bowel syndrome along with my depression & anxiety. i have been on zoloft 5 yrs now and klonopin . the zoloft is not working and i will be seeing my psychiatrist in 3 weeks which i'm calling him back for a app asap. i am a single mom with a 4 yr old son and i hate him seeing me go through this . i'm the only child and at 40 yrs old i'm trying to take care of my mom who is diabetic and my dad starts radiation for prostate cancer july 3rd . he is the only one who was able to take my son and spend quality time with when i have my severe down moments . for now its my mom and i and my son . my dad can't be around my son for 6 weeks until after the radiation. they did the seed implant which is radioactive and can harm children and pregnant women . i have lost friends due them not understanding dep & anx. my b/f has also pulled away so i feel very much alone . i hate this and i feel like "why me" i deserve to be happy . all i do is cry and run to the bathroom after everything i eat . please tell me this too shall pass . i think only the worst and see no light at the end of the tunnel. i am bi-polar they say but never have had a mri of the brain which i'm going to ask about when i see the doc. i have suffered since age 11. any new good antidepressants out there . i think i've been on most of them . very allergic to trileptal put me in hosp with severe rash . thanks to all who reads my post . i need friends and support.
Posted 7/2/2006 2:51 PM (GMT -6)
Hey kelly, im sorry to hear that your down ! I can relate, and also have diagnoses possible bipolar, or paxil-polar.. who knows. None the less I can relate to how you feel. True friends are there for you no matter what, and they are out there to find. Me my friends just kinda shrug me off, but I have a bad habit of just up and stop talking to the few friends I have, it got really bad in march, when I stopped paxil, and looked back and relized what a mad man I was for a good year, and the fact I just cruised along with it for so long. If you havnt had success with SSRI or SRNI's you may want to try an older trycilic anti depressant like imipramine, amytriptiline, or something like that. But if you are bipolar, with out a mood stabilizer you could end up manic... or hypomanic. Are you on just the Anti-d right now ? It seems like such a struggle to fight your head with drugs.. drugs to make you normal... yeah... it is kinda gloomy at times, but for most the sun still shines eventually.
Posted 7/3/2006 8:04 PM (GMT -6)
Hey Kelly, my heart goes out to you, I was there last Fri, my child is sick, my oldest son moved and my brother is going away to a Christian Challenge Center for 1 yr because he is bi polar. I said all that to let you know you are not alone and I will stop as soon as I write this to you and say a prayer for you.
Posted 7/4/2006 5:56 AM (GMT -6)
Hi kelly,  It certainly sounds as if you have lots to deal with and an extreme amount of stress.  When your dealing with physical illnesses yourself, and taking care of family members that alone is a huge worry.  My heart goes out to you for all your going through. The use of MRI to diagnose Bipolar hasn't quite been excepted as yet.  There is a special type of scan that can be done called a Spectroscopy MR that is supposed to be able to show the imbalance of brain chemical.  Hopefully, in the next few years they will be able to use this as a diagnosis tool so that people don't have to wait months and even years to get a diagnosis.  If you have already been diagnosed then I'm not too sure what the point would be in having this done unless you question your diagnosis.  Or if you feel your meds are not working for you, this scan can also monitor that.  For instance, before you start on a new med they do a scan and measure the brain chemicals present, you start the med and 6 months later do another scan.  The idea is that it would or should show reduced levels of activity in the brain, meaning that your meds are working. Anyway, please know that our thoughts are with you and you always have support here at HW.  Take care
Posted 7/4/2006 8:14 AM (GMT -6)
Hi kelly,

You need to hang in there , Don't give up. continue on your efforts get the right diagnoses. it's the best thing you can do for your condition. and like others already suggested walk or train in the gym have a hot bath and feel great. if you keep on doing it for a month or two you will start to enjoy it and make it a important part of your day or week. you should train 3 times a week at the least to get benefit. if you can do 4 or more feel free :)

Took me 3 years to get diagnosed with bipolar. :( but finally I got the right medicine and doing good now., so keep trying and you will get there.

I don't know how is it to have a kid, I'm sure you get joy spending time with your kid, but you have the bad time when they destroy something or just make too much noise

I know you are strong and you can fight this , don't give up..

Finaly and good luck to you.
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