It's the same old story being told all across the US (as well as other affluent countries!), the one that starts with the following: I have a weight problem...obesity...fatness...UNpleasingly plumpness...beluga...oink, oink, oink...UGH!!!!
So they say, "Lose weight! Get up and exercise! Lay off the sweets and the sodas! Don't eat much!" What wonderful suggestions! Uh-Huh....
Okay, there's no magic bullets. Gotta face the facts. I just wish that I wasn't so hungry lots of the time! I try not to eat out of boredom and when I do eat, I don't empty the kitchen! The local buffet bar doesn't close down after I leave their restaurant. My metabolism sucks too! Wait! I take that back! My metabolism doesn't suck, cuz I ain't got any in the first place!
What should I do first? To be honest, it would have to be giving up ALL the sweet sodas. I drink mostly diet, but lately, I've been getting sweet ones out of the coke machines when I'm out and about...
And exercise...hmmm...it's so darned hot I barely wanna leave the house and when I'm in the house I'm always so tired. Exercise bores me too. I have a bad foot that has never been right since I twisted it bad about 10 years ago. But yeah, there's gotta be some sort of activity I can do to get my butt up and moving!
Goodness how I love sweets and for the past few days I've been craving chocolate worse than a starving dog does a steak! Us womenfolk have needs ya know...especially when times are getting close upon us...
Now some folks are such health nuts that they won't eat meat. The same is true of many animal lovers. (I love animals dearly, but my motto is: If I didn't meet it, I can eat it!) I reckon that a shark wouldn't shed a tear over me and he wouldn't even wait 'til I was dead to eat me, so I have no qualms about eating him back! HAH! It's true though that a cow would have no interest in gobbling me up, however, I betcha if I turned green and had petals instead of hair, those cows would show me no mercy either! And too, whenever I've been to a restaurant or a grocery store, the beef is already dead and me not eating him ain't gonna bring him back to life. I won't let his death be in vain, so it's actually my duty to eat him. Ah, I digress...What I'm trying to say here is that I love my protein! Vege's are nice, but they don't stick to my ribs! I ain't no rabbit afterall!
So what's a fat woman to do? I guess I'll have to starve myself to death, cuz nothing else is going to do it! Now if only I could figure out how to starve without knowing I'm hungry....
"If you watch the stars at night,
And you find them shining equally bright,
You might've seen Jesus
And not have known what you saw...
But you would notice a gem
In a five & dime store."
From-"Mary Was An Only Child" by Art Garfunkel
Post Edited (janetlee) : 7/25/2006 1:57:16 AM (GMT-6)