Self help books trigger anxiety/panic attacks? Deppression related.

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New Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 7/28/2006 12:32 AM (GMT -6)   
I am mostly a lurker posting here and there occasionally. I have been suffering from patterns of on agian off agian depression sence my teen years... and havn't have a "meltdown" as I like to call it (the times when I am in so much pain I don't want to wake up, Cry hysterically 2-3 times a day, can't find happiness in anything, cut myself, rage exc you all know how it goes) for over a year and have been pretty much content(note not "happy" but not miserable either).
Recently I have been reading self help books about childhood abuse/emotional/alchaholic/dysfunctional parents and I have found myself having anxiety & panic attacks ever sence reading these books. I don't know why. Its almost like i am taking a step twards getting healthy... but subcounsiousley I almost prefer the pain of being unhealthy because it is firmilular, to the unknown of being a normal functioning person in society. I don't think my depression is chemical related hence medications won't help depression/rage/anxiety is related to childhood abuse & growing up in a toxic, scary, and unsafe environment(in which I still live at the age of 21, although it is now becoming more so as my mom is finailly divorcing my "father" and it is causing termoil, I stay to help her emotionally & with bills as after he leaves she will go broke with out extra money/help and loose the house) .
I was just wondering if anyone has had a negative reaction to "healing" and how to deal with the panic attacks & constant anxiety that comes with the unknown. I find myself waking up in a painic at 1 or 2 am and thinking I am trapped in my depression, I will never escape, I will never make anything of my self, my life will be horrible for ever, exc all these thoughts racing in my mind in an instant and I panic and have to get up and take a sleeping aid to get calmed down. These anxiety attacks are becoming more & more frequent & more & more intense and I don't know what to do.
I am poor, indept nearly 3,000 already, and don't have medical insurence. I despratly need therapy/counseling but have no way to pay for it. Free therapy groups such as alanon for children of alchaholics requires you to "submit to a higher power"(ie god) to join the program and I do not believe in any diety so because I will not submit to a diety their steps are not valid for me.
Mlblsss - I edited one part of your post due to being alittle to graphic...sorry!  Thank you ~ Elisha

Post Edited By Moderator (els) : 7/28/2006 3:46:18 AM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 7/28/2006 5:02 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi Mlbsss,  I have recently went through something similar to what you are describing.  I was abused as a child by my mom's second husband, my stepfather (they are divorced now and have been for many years).  But the after effects of my childhood have stayed with me throughout my life.  I cant read any self-help books as I do find that they cause anxiety for me or trigger so unknown unwanted response.  I take an antidepressant and go to counseling but my point is that my therapist about a month ago gave me a handful of papers that were like a questionnaire and self help thing on childhood sexual abuse he wanted me to fill out and bring back to him.  Since that day I have been like a crazy person, thinking of my past almost non-stop.  I have not ever had a problem saying the words I was sexually abused as a child, but I have never, not even once, told anyone any details of what happened to me.  I think this is what was screaming to get out of my head.  This past Tuesday I had another appointment with counselor and he asked me direct questions regarding it and I answered him...felt like I was going to be sick and was shaking but I did it.  And now I feel almost at peace oddly.

My theory is and yes this is also my professional opinion as someone who has a Bachelors in Psychology and who has worked in the mental health field is that anyone can sit down and put together a self-help book.  When you have duel diagnoses such as depression, and anxiety/panic then that is more complicated deal with those types of mediums are not going to be sufficient in helping someone.  You may be able to pick up a few tips to use on coping skills but other than that...I think they are a waste of money.

I don’t know where you live but there are many options open for someone who doesn’t have the financial resources available to get counseling.  Such as Samaritan Center, some local churches and it isn’t centered around religion, you can call your states Department of Mental Health they should be able to help you.


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