I am forty years old, with a long history of depression. Earlier this year I met a man who I clicked with immediately and we fell in love but very quickly we had problems. He broke up with me, suddenly, after three months. This was two months ago.
I still feel devastated by the loss. I keep calling him and he has gotten seriously annoyed. The worst thing is, sometimes when we talk he has been somewhat pursuaded to try things with me again, but I didn't realize and then called him again, crying, too soon, and he then says I am crazy and am too much.
This wasn't an issue when we were actually together. I wasn't clingy, and he was very into me. But since he has broken up with me its like it unleashed a desparate crazy person who can't stop crying and who feels so empty and like the only thing that will help is if I have his regard again.
I will probably be going back on anti-depressants (Wellbutrin) very soon, after being off them for nearly two years, but I was wondering if anyone has any thoughts about what I am going through.
Is there anyway that I can redeam myself with this man, regain his respect, if not his love?
Is it crazy for me to still want that, to not just move on? I really feel like what we had was special and important...
I feel so alone and empty, although I have suffered much worse depression-wise.