Posted 8/3/2006 1:53 PM (GMT -6)
My mom just sent me this and it actually made me laugh out loud. Something I haven't done in a long time. I do have a bit of news on the subject of me while I have you here. With the help of my sister-in-law and my husband, I finaly have an intake appointment with a local mental health agency. It's not for three weeks but I think I can make it. I should be able to see a counseler there and more importantly get back on my meds. Yippy!!!.
OK, here's the joke:
The Purina Diet
If this doesn't cheer you up, nothing will.
I have a Labrador retriever. I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog?
On impulse, I told her no, but that I was starting The Purina Diet
again. Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the
hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall, black guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if ended up in intensive care because the dog food
poisoned me. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car
hit me. I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack
he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.