Posted 8/13/2006 11:29 AM (GMT -6)
Hi Janet, I think it has been a little bit since you have posted in here...maybe? Did something happen to make you feel that you can’t post your thoughts and feelings or worries on the forums? I don’t mean to be nosey I just am not sure if there was a situation that occurred to make you feel uncomfortable or if it is something else. Please don’t feel like your being a bother, or venting...your feelings no matter what they are, are valid and we are always here to listen and help in anyway we can.
First of all, I wanna thank EVERYONE for caring!
Els, with me, it's always the same old cra*. My mom with her emotional blackmail. I've been reading a book by Susan Forward, Ph.D., about it and what to do in handling it...so much of what I read is like reading about me and mom. However, being in my situation is quite a bit different than the people she talks about in the book. Sure, there are principles that i can try to glean from, but I'm so alone in this really. I wish I had my own car so at least I'd feel a little independent. Everyone here on this forum and the anxiety forum are great folks and I appreciate them all, but when they tell me what/how I should do, I just wanna scream. I know pretty much already. For the record, one time I was talking with my caseworker about my situation and she would make a suggestion, I'd explain to her why that wouldn't work and so forth. Even she had to admit that i was in a very difficult situation and didn't seem to think that I was just "copping out".
Last night, I (as always), went with mom to clean an office. I was sick to my stomach and had a headache (she knew this). After we got done, she mentioned going to the store to pick up a few items. She could tell that I wasn't exactly thrilled by the notion, so she says, since you aren't feeling well, I guess we'll just go on home. i told her that she could go on to the store, but that I would stay in the car. WE went home. Mom MUST have me get out with her whenever we go anywhere. At least I didn't say, "Well, okay, let's go on to the store and I'll get out." I give myself that much credit! then on the way home, she's saying, "i'm just going to stop cooking, cuz everytime I do, you get sick." BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...I didn't care. I thought to myself that she don't cook that much anyway and it ain't no skin off my nose if she never cooks again!
Anyway, I still don't feel great this a.m., but that's life. I dread going out of my bedroom to deal with her. Ain't that special? PLEASE FOLKS , NO SOLUTIONS ARE BEING SOLICITED HERE. I'm just venting. I've got to continue dealing with this the best I can and try to learn to be stronger inside. I'm gonna try.
Thank you all!
Bless the beasts and the children...