Regular Dad, welcome and you are not alone, you are not the only one and we are here for you.
I truly mean it when I say that you know yourself best and have to make your own decisions. I offer my perspective on medication in hopes that it will help you, if it doesn't keep reading because there is a wealth of experience here.
When I was 22 I first had a depressive episode but at that time, in the place I was living no really even knew about depression. I went undiagnosed and gutted out the next 8 years until I realized that I was alright again. The next episode hit me 13 years later when I was so down that I couldn't stop crying and was almost non-functional. A beloved co-worker was courageous enough to tell me the truth and said that I had a problem with depression. I went from that conversation to the telephone, to the doctor's office where I was then diagnosed with depression and given medication. I went out to my car and screamed myself hoarse because I too did not want medication. I banged on the steering wheel of my car so hard I bent it (hee, hee, it's pretty funny now).
I have to tell you though that medication changed my life that day. I knew I was as low as I was going to go and everything else was up from there. The right medication will not turn you into a zombie, if meds do that, they are not the right ones for you. Over the course of my life I have had 3 episodes of deep depression which fortunately can all be traced back to losing control over my life and not taking time to take care of myself.
Are you weak for taking medication or having this problem at all? No, depression does not make you a weak person. My view is that you are courageous and it takes real strength to acknowledge this issue and deal with it. You have shown strength by coming here and your next steps, whatever they are, will support that strength. Keep coming here, let us know how you are doing. You are part of us now and we will worry about you.