I am only 18 years old and i feel as if my life is beginning to end. its pretty much done.
I am having withdrawls which totally sucks but there is nothing i can do. I have no money to purchase any more and i have no ideas of how to fix my issues.
I have been depressed since i was 14 never put onto any meds until recently.
My past history includes being a runaway, i move from place to place every 6 months. I hate it.
I was also addicted to cocaine and ecstacy for a couple of years. about
a year ago i quit doing drugs after i saw my best friendd overdosing on a date rape drug that was placed in our drinks without knowing.
I also drank ALOT!!! everyday for a year i was drunk every day i would wake up take my little brothers to school go home sleep wake up get ready and go drink. I did this non stop everyday for a year until my bestfriend(the one who was overdosing on GHB) got pregnent. I had to stop than well i tried i drank alone for a while purchasing mikeys and placing them beside my bed. When i didnt drink i was on the verge of killing someone. I was so mean to my siblings. They annoyed me they ruined my life. I felt as though my mom had them to punish me i raised these kids. Now looking back i realize how much i hurt them.
When i was 14 i ran away from home for 2 years i lived in another province. Never talked to my mom during that time. When i moved back i was still having all these issues. Im sorry if this doesnt make sense. It doesnt make sense to me either.
I lived with my mother for a short time before i got kicked out and moved about
20 more times in the past year. MY mother well she wont let me see my little siblings i love them with all my heart and sole. I never once hit them as much as i hated them i loved them. I would never hurt them. My mother wont let me see them and she knows thats the only way she can hurt me. Its the only way i will deal with everything shes done in the past. I know i am making her seem to be the bad guy i know i did wrong but i know that if she wasnt the way she was everything would be ok. I dont know im so messed up right now i cant even think straight nothing is making anysense to me. .I just keep typing and \words come out. Things i needed to get out but havent because i dont know how or who to tell. I do not care anymore i just want this to stop I want my family i want happiensss i think if you can make sense of this you have a lot of skills but thanks for reading. Even if you do not understand any of this it wont matter because You STILL cared enough to read and try and make sense of it.
Post Edited By Moderator (Victoria) : 9/1/2006 4:13:55 PM (GMT-6)