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Depression Question

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Posted 9/2/2006 6:21 PM (GMT -8)
I took my current job to move closer to my gf. Things did not work out and it ended badly. In the almost three years since our breakup, she married the brother of one of my co-workers. No matter how hard I try, I see my job as a reminder of a really bad time in my life. My job is O.K., but I have found myself feeling very negative, and frankly, it affects my work. I'd love to change jobs, but have not been able to do that yet. I'd like to do a better job at work, until I find something else. Any advice?
Posted 9/3/2006 1:15 AM (GMT -8)
Hi afnanook,

Welcome to the healing well forum.
I'm sorry to hear about your breakup and I can see how its affected your work. The best way to look for another job, im my opinion, is to stick with the current job while you are searching. It is always easier to look for and get a job when you already have one rather than being unemployed and trying to look for one.
If you feel that a change in job would help you then you should go for it. You have to do what makes you happy and if you think that this change will do that then its the best thing for you.

Keep posting and let us know how you are doing

Take care
Posted 9/3/2006 4:34 AM (GMT -8)
Hi afnanook, I too am adding my welcome to Healing Well, we are happy to have you.  I agree with Victoria's advice here, if you’re not happy in your current job and it is a reminder of your relationship than you should search for another.  We are lucky now-a-days as the Internet has made it possible for us to submit resumes and applications this way without having to take off time from work and search out other positions. 
I hope you are able to find something soon, please keep us posted.  Take care
Posted 9/3/2006 4:45 AM (GMT -8)
Thanks, I agree that I should move on. I'm finishing up my Masters Degree this year, so I'll have my Principals license in the spring. I'm a school teacher, so it's not really possible to pick up and leave any time during the year. I'm just concerned that my job performance is not up to par.
Posted 9/3/2006 4:54 AM (GMT -8)
Hi afnanook,
First thing is take the advice of finding a new job but keeping your current one. Let me tell you,once you do not have a job your world feels like it is upside down. And the longer you do not have a job the longer it is to pull yourself out of the dark hole.
I live by this next line,something the first counsler told me
In order to get better you have to change your enviroment as that is what is making you sick.
Posted 9/3/2006 6:03 AM (GMT -8)
Just a thought. It's been three years since the breakup. Have you moved on with your personal life? I know how hard it can be to move on after a breakup - I'm 57, been divorced once, and lost some girl friends along the way. I've been married for 15 years now.

I know first hand how much easier it is to dwell on the past. It's far easier than getting out in the world, making new friends, etc. Trouble is... it's not healthy.

Ed

Posted 9/3/2006 7:49 AM (GMT -8)
I've attempted to. I have not had a lot of success. I think I dwell on the breakup more than the person. I know now that this relationship was not the best for me.
Posted 9/3/2006 2:53 PM (GMT -8)
Now that I've hit the right button!

I want to thank everyone for their input. Through a lot of prayer this weekend and good advice, I feel better. I need to go back to work on Tuesday and ask some of my friends for help. I know they will be willing, I've just never asked. I need to get back to work on my last Masters class and finish my Principals license. I've had some interest in a lady I've known for awhile, so I'm going to pursue that option. If that doesn't work out, I need to look at plan B. I will keep my eyes open for another job. I do believe that a change of location would be a positive step. Thanks again.

Post Edited (afnanook) : 9/3/2006 8:07:03 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/3/2006 6:03 PM (GMT -8)
I'm smiling and happy for you. 

Direction determines destination. You're on your way to a better destination.

All the best.

Ed

Posted 9/4/2006 3:01 AM (GMT -8)
That's great!  I am most happy for you, please do let us know how you get on...take care
Posted 9/4/2006 2:26 PM (GMT -8)
Here's my goal, I've identified four things in my life I'd like to change/work on. They are all things that are "doable". Learing to play the concert piano is not one of them. During the first week of October I'm going to sit down and analyze my progress and then stick with or change my plan of attack based on what's happened. None of these things are deadline items. They are really changes in behavior. I'm putting my personal life on the back burner for a while. I don't want to make a rash choice. Again I'd like to thank everyone for their kind words.
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