Good going matey -- yes, sometimes just knowing what we'd advise someone else to do is enough to get the first step done -- and if we just do that with each small step, very soon we've taken enough of them for us to have made a big move in the right direction. I'm sorry you had to drag your mum to the doc, but I'm also glad in a way because you learned what to do -- and it sounds like it gave you strength.
I think I understood what was behind your posts yesterday almost more than I understood what you were saying -- though I could understand that too. Racing thoughts and rapid talking ... I've seen quite a bit of that with my ex (bipolar, wish he wasn't my ex). Easier when it's written down (I can read slower!!).
I'm glad that you understand your euphoria so well -- sounds to me like you really "get it" -- and that will protect you. I know you probably wish you could just let yourself enjoy it like you once did -- but you're protecting yourself by not letting it carry you away with it.
I remember feeling exactly as you did about
checking for replies -- dread of there being nothing and lots of gut churning! But this is a really good place -- so much support and caring -- and we've all been in that "first post" place. I thought it was just me when I started here, but since then I've read so many posts that reflect what I was feeling then -- and what you felt.
I live alone too -- very good at the shutting out the world stuff. I'm so glad your boyfriend is sticking by you. I doubt he fell in love with the euphoric: that's only part of the total you and he clearly loves the package -- even if he is worried for you. Let him help you. Take him along with you when you get that appointment -- even if you just want him there when you go in and waiting for you when you come out. You won't lose *you* by getting treatment: *you* will be there more than before, with minimal interference from Mr Depression and Mrs Euphoria. That will allow your relationship to flourish -- and I sense that wanting that is a huge spur to you in getting help, so let that support you.
Yes, I'm a Rosie woman! It'd be really good to email with you. If you don't want to set up a new account, just click my name in the column to the left of my posts and you'll get my profile which has my email addy. I had the same problem with a personal email address when I first came here but then I discovered that yahoo mail lets you add a second addy to the same account -- all delivered to the same inbox and everything. Your email account may have a similar option. But anyway, as I say, you can get my address from my profile and that's that problemo sorted in a flash! -- Look forward to hearing from you!!
People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum