i just do not fit in anywhere

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 751
   Posted 9/20/2006 3:37 AM (GMT -6)   
part of my problem is taht besdies being depressed and in chronic pain all the time i have no friends and i jsut do not fit in anywhere. in the state of fl, people just do not go out of there way to make friends unless you are a  biker or a fisherman or play golf and i dont do any of those things, i do not fit in anywhere, i have only a one or two friends who are busy with their lives and i have a part time husband. it is a strained relationship and not 'real' sometimes.
this is why i feel depressed partly and b/c my family do not speak to me and have frozen me out of the family a long time ago 15 yrs ago by the wicked witch of the west my mother.
so everyone is very old down here and in to bingo and i am not into bingo. frankly i dont know what any more i am into these days. i am  a loner most of the time and have a rotten M-I-L also.
ihave a great son but he has his own life and i s nearly 22.
i am tired of being in pain and no one wants to listen to an old lady compalin all the time about my troubles.
so at 50 nearly 51, i have  what i have, not much in the way of family life friends, i may consdier getting a pet
but is this it for me?
maybe i  should be grateful i am not living out on the streets ....but i am not yet broke but running it down with the moeny.
how do i get  into group things when i dont feel well enough to make committments to join things, and i try to g ot church but i cant depend on being there all the time.
most days i sleep alot and am scared to even go out and drive with these crazy drivers.
or i jsut dont have the energy to do stuff. join clubs? like what?
volunteer? i cant be depended upon to feel well enough to help anyone else by sides myself....
in other states when friends say they will stop by and have tea ---they mean it and they do, but it seems like everyone here in fl who says this doesnt really mean it b/c no one acutally does it!!!
so friends...waht can you suggest to me to do to help myself
9-02 crash w/ C-5-6-7 anterior/posterior fusion in neck w/11 screws and 4 metal plates. multilevel HNP at T & L section. FMS, PA in dec 05. on SSDI after 2.5 yr wait. sezuires, CTS, IBS ( C & D). norco, xanax, predisone shots. i dont know what else is wrong with me and neither does anyone else!!!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 9/20/2006 7:26 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi missie,  I so know it is difficult living your life with chronic pain and being depressed.  I cant speak for Florida as I have never been there, I live in MO what state could be more boring?  I look out my windows and see...cows.  I have been diagnosed with MS for 5 years since the age of 28 so chronic pain on a daily basis has become very familiar to me.  Often I too would lay around and just do the basic necessity things just to get by on a day to day basis.  Finally, I think I reached a point where I realized it wasn’t helping me nor my disease process.  I was just making excuses not to live.

A lot of the things that you listed off such as volunteering, church, joining certain clubs do not require you to attend every meeting, session, or whatever.  I dont know what kind of chronic pain that your living with but perhaps there is a support group that you can find for it.  Like I have joined the MS Society..and no I dont attend every meeting and that is okay.

Perhaps look into some counseling which is excellent for anyone who lives with chronic pain issues as this does effect them mentally in many ways.  It will give you someone to talk to confidentially about your issues and hopefully will give you some coping skills to use in everyday life.

As for the pet...I am a huge advocate for them.  Pets are great therapy and especially so for those of us who have depression.  They always give unquestioning love and never ask for anything in return except for to be cared for properly.

I am sure you will have many more responses and suggestions here, hang in there....

Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease

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