Posted 9/20/2006 3:37 AM (GMT -6)
part of my problem is taht besdies being depressed and in chronic pain all the time i have no friends and i jsut do not fit in anywhere. in the state of fl, people just do not go out of there way to make friends unless you are a biker or a fisherman or play golf and i dont do any of those things, i do not fit in anywhere, i have only a one or two friends who are busy with their lives and i have a part time husband. it is a strained relationship and not 'real' sometimes.
this is why i feel depressed partly and b/c my family do not speak to me and have frozen me out of the family a long time ago 15 yrs ago by the wicked witch of the west my mother.
so everyone is very old down here and in to bingo and i am not into bingo. frankly i dont know what any more i am into these days. i am a loner most of the time and have a rotten M-I-L also.
ihave a great son but he has his own life and i s nearly 22.
i am tired of being in pain and no one wants to listen to an old lady compalin all the time about my troubles.
so at 50 nearly 51, i have what i have, not much in the way of family life friends, i may consdier getting a pet
but is this it for me?
maybe i should be grateful i am not living out on the streets ....but i am not yet broke but running it down with the moeny.
how do i get into group things when i dont feel well enough to make committments to join things, and i try to g ot church but i cant depend on being there all the time.
most days i sleep alot and am scared to even go out and drive with these crazy drivers.
or i jsut dont have the energy to do stuff. join clubs? like what?
volunteer? i cant be depended upon to feel well enough to help anyone else by sides myself....
in other states when friends say they will stop by and have tea ---they mean it and they do, but it seems like everyone here in fl who says this doesnt really mean it b/c no one acutally does it!!!
so friends...waht can you suggest to me to do to help myself
9-02 crash w/ C-5-6-7 anterior/posterior fusion in neck w/11 screws and 4 metal plates. multilevel HNP at T & L section. FMS, PA in dec 05. on SSDI after 2.5 yr wait. sezuires, CTS, IBS ( C & D). norco, xanax, predisone shots. i dont know what else is wrong with me and neither does anyone else!!!