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The dreaded pain

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Posted 9/24/2006 4:23 AM (GMT -7)
I'm here again. In this island of my doom. Where all I can see is darkness and all I can feel is hurt. Never thought I would be feeling this way again. This evil pain is worse and cruel than before! Way too much to bear!

He left me. Yes, he left me coz he said i never get better. He left me when I attempted suicide again last month and nearly died. He left me coz I couldn't stop cutting. He gave up on me. It hurts so much!! especially, i am the one who pushed him away! **** my BPD!

How long I can hold on... I dont have the answer myself.

Mysts, I am sorry for what your going through...but when you post you cant use foul language, even if you encode it as you did in your post.  We have to keep the forums "family friendly" as there are teenagers and others that can become offended by that.  So please...keep it clean... :-)

Post Edited By Moderator (els) : 9/24/2006 7:13:06 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/24/2006 6:23 AM (GMT -7)

Mysts, What your going through is one of the most difficult of diagnoses and illnesses.  I know I have told you that before...all of these things effect everything and everyone around us.  Often times we are not able to see that when we are self destructive and in pain.  I am sorry that he was not strong enough to stick by your side and support you through this.  Perhaps he had an image in his head that you would magically go back to not having any sort of illness what so ever...who knows? but that isnt going to happen and you now have to concentrate on yourself and getting better.

It is okay to mourn the loss of a relationship and especially to someone who you loved and cared about so much.  But if he cared and loved you the same he wouldnt of walked away so easily.... Dont blame yourself or your illness it is just a convient excuse for him.  Hang in there girl, your tough and can get through this.

We are always here

Posted 9/24/2006 9:55 AM (GMT -7)
hello mysts, mayby it's a will be a strage words, but i mast say that, you not need remamber him, foget about him becouse if he left you when you have a problem that he not deserves you, all people wont happy, and you i think have a fun on you live, if you not have a fun, i think you need fight, fight for you happy for you fan, becouse you can get a suicide, but what you think, in the other world you live will be a better? mayby yes mayby no, i dont know what in other world, i know one i need fight i need try to do somthing, it's a very difficulte but i try to do somthing, and i wish to you get a confidence, belive me in this world have a many interesting things, and belive me not need not honour failure that else remediable, you need ask yourself what can you do for youself? can you do samthing for you happy? i think you can find a way
Posted 9/24/2006 10:22 AM (GMT -7)
I agree with nash123 if a boyfriend left you in your time of need then he's the jerk, and not truly someone to be with...
Depression is a hard illness to fight through. Wish I knew something more to help you...
Is there anything you could focus on that helps?
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