Hi Autumn Dawn, I am adding my welcome to you to Healing Well, we are most happy to have you join us here.
I cant begin to imagine what you must of went through and must still be going though. I am divorced myself for 2 years now and was with my ex-husband for a total of 12 years. As much as I would like to blame him for the fall out of our marriage I have to admit that I am partly responsible (very small part...hehehe ). I got sick with MS 2 years after we were married and he changed into a mean and verbally abusive person after that. Perhaps he had shown signs of this before?...I dont know, maybe if I looked hard enuf, but it did result in the total breakdown of our relationship.
So I have a hard time with relationships now or even just dating in general...as I try to pick apart everything the guy says and am looking for any signs of imbalance. Trust is a huge problem with me too...I was with this guy for 12 years and he just changed or maybe he didnt change, I was only seeing what I wanted too...who knows?
I think that Rosie gave you some excellent advice with the counseling. Maybe it shouldnt be so much learning how to trust someone else but learning how to trust yourself again and your instincts.