Posted 10/5/2006 10:54 PM (GMT -6)
Hi, I have a boyfriend that I have been back together with after a two year break up. I first met him when I went to help him with personal care and homemaking after his surgery on his shoulder from an injury at work. (I was/am homesupport worker) any how we got together and was together for 5 years. I was with him thru the bull crap that WCB put him thru after when he did not regain full mobility in his right arm after the surgery. He could not go back to his previous job. he started to battle depression due to the stress, have anxiety attacks, and began to see things in a different way. In a negative way, even our relationship, which I thought was good. It was like he went strange, like I didnt know this person. We broke up, and I wasnt really sure why for two years. Which gave me a crap load of baggage, wondering what I did so wrong.
We got back together in November, and he seem better, and seems to know that he has depression, but does not take any meds to deal with it, just smoke some pot, or hangs around playing on the computer, recharging as he says. I support him, how I can by giving him the space he needs to give himself a boost. But in the back of my mind, I am afraid that the other J will come out. What if I say the worng thing, or do the wrong thing. What if I disagree with him about something, he might leave again. because he can not deal with life.
I feel like I am on egg shells sometimes. I know I can survive without him, I did fine before, and he knows that as well. I still love him though. At one time I would have gave anything or did anything for him. Now I am afraid the other J is going to come out and I will go thru it all again. Is this a normal feeling for the spouse or gir/boyfriend of someone that suffers severe depression. I kinda feel lost here, and dont dare talk to my friends about it, as they are already shaken their heads about getting back together with him.. I never did stop loving him even after two years.
Any advice or anything?
33yr old female
Crohns for 10 years, no surgery as of yet. Meds include pentasa, metronidazole, iron, muti-vit, salmon oil