why can't i motivate myself?

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 10/10/2006 3:54 AM (GMT -6)   
there are so many things in my life that i want to make better. i want to eat healthy and i want to excercise. i want to lose weight in a healthy way. i want to take better care of myself. i want to look better. i want to have a job. i want to go to school. i want to have motivation to do work and go to classes. i want to date someone. i want to meet people. i want to put more effort into the clothes i wear. i want to be a nicer person. i want to have things together and be someone that i like. i want to be happy. and then i start thinking about how hard it is to get all those things and i just give up before i even start. i feel like i can't have these things. i feel like things like that just won't happen for someone like me. and i don't know how to make them happen.
i cannot get my sleeping schedule right. even though i know that a job would be good for me, when it comes down to it, I can't get myself out of bed in the morning, not to mention that to get myself to take a shower and do my hair and get dressed seems like a huge struggle in the first place. and i feel like i just don't have what it takes to always be watching what i eat, and excercising is the last thing i feel like doing. i just feel like i don't have the energy or the will to do anything. and i just am so frustrated. because i know so many things would be better for me, and i know that you don't get anything unless you try. but i just for some reason, can't do it. and i don't know how to make myself do it.
sometimes i think is it the depression that makes me this way, or am i just a lazy person who just doesn't follow through with anything? i feel like everyday is a fight against what i should be doing and how much i don't want to do it. and a constant question of why i am the way i am. and i just hate it..........................
i just needed to get something out. to know that someone is at least listening. i feel so selfish when i need my feelings to be validated. but i guess that's a whole other issue... but if anyone has felt like this or has advice with this sort of thing of course i would be grateful.

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 36
   Posted 10/10/2006 5:40 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi michele_Beth,
                             Please know that you are not a lazy person or selfish!...i have felt this way,and I really do know what your going through.How long have you been feeling like this?...Have you talked it through with your friends and family?...I would (and did) go and see your doctor...I know its VERY hard to function and do the most basic of things when feeling like this...but it can and will get better.... :-)

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 94
   Posted 10/10/2006 6:41 AM (GMT -6)   
depression sucks! thats the bottom line. i've been having a bad week and its only tuesday.

for one thing, your list is tooooo looooong. start with only one or two items. clean that off your slate when you have accomplished it and move on to the next. start today. say ....today i'm going to be a nicer person. then the next day say.....i'm going to be a nicer person and dress nice. and so on and so on.

for me....today i'm gonna wash my hair and put on a happy face and go to work. none of which i did yesterday.

hope it works! :-)

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 122
   Posted 10/10/2006 7:20 AM (GMT -6)   
I can totally relate to how you are feeling. It's exactly how I feel, and I have two kids that need me which only adds to the feelings of failure when I can't manage to accomplish even some very basic tasks. Mornings are horrible. I hate mornings.... I hate waking up. Like you, there are a lot of things about my life that I don't particularly like and I often feel like I have no control over them. I want to go back to school too. I've tried several times but for whatever reason, each time I've not been able to. Financially, due to a business gone sour about three years ago on the part of my husband, I don't qualify for enough funding to let me go back to school. And we never have enough money to pay for me to take a course. And as far as online courses go, between work, the kids, the depression, I don't trust myself to succeed and I don't want to waste money on something I might not finish. It's hard to commit to something like an online class because it does require a certain mental ability to sit down and take responsibility for your education. There's no physical teacher there and the distractions of home are your class room. Not everybody can manage that. And I totally understand the weight issue. In the last year I've put on over 30lbs and as a result, few of my clothes fit me properly anymore, and I can't afford to buy more. I want to take the weight off but when I'm depressed, if I eat, I have a tendency to reach for the comfort food. Stress makes losing the weight even more difficult. I want to exercise but feel so exhausted all the time that I never seem to get around to it. It's all a vicious cycle. So I completely understand your predicament. All I can say is this, 90% of the time you probably feel like crap. But when you do have a good day, and you do get up and clean and take the time to dress yourself, feel empowered by that moment, knowing that tomorrow it may be a struggle just to get up. When you manage to accomplish something (anything - even the little things) on your to do list, pat yourself on the back, don't start thinking about everything else you still have to do. Take a moment and just savour your accomplishment and try to let the feelings of accomplishment carry you onto the next task. And when you do feel lazy and useless and underappreciated and exhausted, just remember that yesterday you had a good day and you will have a good day again, but for now you aren't. I know all of this is easier said than done. A lot easier said than done because when you are depressed you have a tendency not to be able to see the forest for the tree your nose is painfully pressed up against, plus society has some very painful ways of reminding you that you just don't add up. That's when you come here and realize you are not alone and being depressed is not just a state of mind but a physical illness. And I agree, if you have not seen your doctor do so. But drugs alone are not the answer. They can help clear the fog and increase your energy levels and your ability to cope but unless you deal with the underlying issues that are causing your depression, you will eventually hit the brick wall. That's where I am.... So get help for every aspect of your depression, not just the biological elements. I hope this helps.

 It would be easier to tell people I have cancer than it is to tell them I am severely depressed.....

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 243
   Posted 10/10/2006 12:52 PM (GMT -6)   
I am sitting here in "yoga pants", sports bra, running shoes - yet am not able to make myself go work out. am avoiding going downstairs for fear that I will gorge on comfort food. Everything in this post is exactly the same for me... exactly. I was going to vent the exact same things - so I just want to say I guess that it feels really great today knowing that I am not alone. I have therapy tomorrow - and hearing you articulate clearly the same problems I have is really helping me to think about what to report tomorrow. I wish I could be one of the people that gives you answers, but I have the same issues. Good to know I'm not alone. Thank you for your post.
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