Oh I work. I work and I have two kids. It's on weekends I might actually be able to get a couple hours during the day, and I've been known to really fight sleep at work occasionally. Somehow I keep going. Maybe it's the yawning. It gives me a bit more oxygen!!! It's not because I'm not tired that I don't sleep. I start to get anxious right before bed. Because I know I run a very high chance of bad dreams that are sometimes worse than just staying up all night. Also, it's at night when I'm trying to go to sleep that my mind starts working through some of my issues and pain. If there was a time I was going to cry, it would be then. So it's more complicated than just because I have nothing else to do. Wish that were the case. I even have tonnes of hobbies I don't have the time or energy for. I want to start my own craft business even. But my lack of concentration doesn't help with the crafts either. Sometimes I just can't get into them, and sometimes I can't be bothered because it'll take me longer to get things out and put them away than I'll have time to work on anything. So it's not laziness. Plus I like the night time. I've always been a bit of a night hawk - runs in the family. The house is quiet, the kids are demanding my attention, I don't have to deal with my husband. It's nice. But it's all about
avoiding the issues isn't it?..... Anyways, I just had to put a word in in my defence to that last one.
And to Wizzer120, I do the same thing. I stay up late, sometimes don't go to bed at all for one night, and then I'm so exhausted, I sleep a little more soundly one night and am a little more refreshed. Not much though.... And if it were just me, I could probably live with my sleeping issues. It's the family and the hubby. He gets frustrated if I doze off while watching tv or whatever. And the kids sometimes lack the supervision they need because I can't keep my eyes
open.... So it's hard. I feel like I'm on both ends of the depression symptoms when it comes to sleep. I go between sleeping too much and not sleeping at all..... Very frustrating....
Anyways, thanks for the suggestions and in put.
It would be easier to tell people I have cancer than it is to tell them I am severely depressed.....