Frustrated but listen to this

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New Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 10/11/2006 11:50 AM (GMT -6)   
Today is my Dad's birthday. He is 78. My birthday fell on the 5th and he never has called me to wish me a happy birthday nor sent me a birthday card in many years.
I know he is old but not too old to stop working. He is mentally and physically active. I have a sister who hounds me about calling him to wish him a happy birthday and send him a card. She wants to control my actions. I've sent them/called in the past on his birthdays but so far I'm reserved about doing that this year. It hurts that he doesn't want to pick up the phone. I'm not a bad daughter. I am his first too. He will always be my Dad but I am tired of trying to get him to pay attention to me for once.
Listen to yourself, believe in yourself and accept what is
Tinnitus, RLS, Fibromyalgia, Depression, GERD, anxiety but a perfect mind and body

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 254
   Posted 10/11/2006 4:41 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Anotary,
I think it's very sad that your dad is insenstive to your needs. That must feel pretty bad. :-( . Obviously you want a relationship with him. If you have made that clear, I don't think there is anything more you can do on your part. I don't blame you at all for being reserved in continuing to send him your regards on his birthday. You are the only one that can decide that. I like your signature which says.. Listen to yourself, believe in yourself, and accept what it! That says a lot. Maybe you are at a place of letting go of the expectations you have for your dad to do what you want him to do. And perhaps you are allowing yourself to do what you think is right for you. And, you won't feel guilty for doing this or feel you aer doing it for pay back or spite. From your post, it doesn't sound like you are like that.
Can you ask you sister to do what she wants to do and let you decide for yourself what is right for you? Does he send greetings to her on her birthday?

Just some things to think about.

Be Well,

"Hope is seldom found in the things we can see;it is the sweet fragrance of grace."



Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 10/12/2006 7:10 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi,My Grandparents are the same way...I did get a card this year,but that was after about 5 years of nothing.
I suspect they are becoming senile,so I wonder if they even remember the special days. Could this be what is happening to your dad? You really have to look for those types of things when they get older like might be as simple as have arthritis in his hands..
Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

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