Spayne, I just wanted to tell you that I will pray for you. I am in the same boat as you are right now. I posted a note recently about how badly I needed support too as I have having the same horrible thoughts. I don't know what to do. Since you are beginning to think about a "plan" please do check yourself into the clinic. Call your insurance company and ask them which places are covered. You know, I hate to hear that someone is suffering like this and Spayne, I do know how you feel. Sometimes just writing it out is helpful. I wish I could be of more help but I'm not the best person right now given that I'm feeling the same way that you are. I hope that others who are less depressed and have learned to cope will offer encouragement and advice.
DX: chronic migraine, cervical degeneration, depression/anxiety
RX: Wellbutrin, Lexapro, Soma, Immitrex
"You don't find out that God is all you've got until God is all you've got."