I usually was on the lupus boards and when me life started spinning out of control I with drew from everything. My life slowly yet swiftly became a somber drone existence. It is almost a subliminal rhythm yet deafening throbbing of thoughts that are constantly in my mind. I can’t even escape in sleep. I try so hard, but I only see quick sand when I look down. I am sick, I know that, I don’t want to be, I’m just so tired. I just never thought every bit of happiness could instantly vanish without a trace. The more seizures I have, the greater my depression grows. I am confused has anyone felt so powerless? I have held it together as long as I can, I want to stop hurting. Thanks for listening.