I am much like that Shy. Starting each day is difficult as I automatically expect things to go wrong or something to happen. I am in a differant environment now as are you and still it is hard to retrain the brain. Such as not flinching or jumping when someone makes a quick movement towards you...I do this all the time and it has been years since I have been hit.
It may take you alittle while longer to become more secure in your relationship with your boyfriend. You know in your heart that he wont hurt you...but there is still that part of your brain that wont let it go. That is were the anxiety is coming from.
I also hope that your boyfriend is patient with you as your issues arnt just from an abusive ex-husband but go back further than that and are more deep seated in your mind than this. Your going to have scars and some of them may not ever heal for you, I hope they do but you have find a balance of living with them the best you can. Which you have been doing a great job of Shy...have confidence in yourself my friend. I wish you a wonderful weekend.